To Wash The Black Dog
by Konflickted
Summary: In her seventh year, Lily was more certain than ever that she wanted nothing to do with James Potter.  When she learns a secret she was never meant to know, and caught in a dark, twisted little game of trust, can she find love?
1. Twice in Trouble

**Chapter One: Twice in Trouble**

Lily Evans sat straight in her chair, alert and at attention, her emerald green eyes expectantly on the front of the classroom. She had laid her quills out on the desk in a neat row, her parchment placed square on the wood surface, and spare bottles of ink ready. Just in case. Lily was always trying to be well prepared for such things as a broken quill tip or low ink supply, and by always being prepared she was known as the most OCD witch of her time. At least by the Marauders' standards.

"Hey, Evans," James Potter said as he walked past her desk, his clothes is various states of disheveled carelessness. Lily did not reply to his greeting with words, just raised an eye brow at his lack of manners and respectability. He continued back and tossed himself rather lazily into the chair of the desk directly behind her desk. Sirius Black, his best mate and second, had done the same, both practically laying back in their chairs with a lack of attention that one needed to be a part of the advanced Transfiguration class. Peter followed Remus, both of them sloppy, but far more presentable than Sirius or James. They were the Marauders, and they were the four most popular boys in school, though Peter really was just a tag-a-long who was popular by association.

"So, Evans, when are you going to give my man, James, here a chance?" Sirius asked as he tapped on Lily's shoulder. She turned and put her finger to her lips as if in deep thought.

"Um, let me think," Lily said quite slowly. She wasn't looking at James, but at Sirius. "Maybe the day that I fly a broom on purpose," Lily replied rather coldly as she rolled her eyes, and turned back toward the front of the classroom.

"Ouch, Evans, that stings," Sirius laughed as he placed his hand to his heart.

"Mr. Black, please be quiet!" The professor snapped as she headed to the board, finally silencing the rowdy bunch of Marauders.

"Yes, ma'am," Sirius said. The professor began to teach the concepts that were not completely lost on the seventh years who had decided that they wanted to take such advanced Transfiguration.

Lily was so engrossed in the professor's lecture that she failed to hear her name whispered. She felt a tap on her shoulder as she scratched her quill to the parchment, catching all of the important notes for later review. She turned, furious that she had been so rudely interrupted. James and Sirius were looking at her expectantly.

"What?" Lily snapped. Her response to the tapping was hardly louder than a harsh whisper though a few people had looked at her curiously.

"We need supplies," Sirius said quietly as he eyed her spare supplies on the smooth finished desk.

"No. Get your own," Lily retorted. She was not about to become a supplier for these rude Marauders. How dare they interrupt her note-taking?

"Come _on_, Evans, be a pal," James pressed as he leaned forward. He tried to give her that look that usually melted whoever he looked at like that. She wasn't impressed, nor was she swayed.

"I am _not_ your pal," Lily quipped as she went to turn back to the notes she was taking.

"Potter, Black," snapped the professor harshly, "and Evans, you have _detention_."

"What?" Lily exclaimed, standing up. She knocked the spare ink bottle from the top of her desk with her hand in her haste to stand on her feet, sending the bottle crashing to the floor. It burst, spraying the floor with its intense blue ink.

"Lily Evans, _sit down_!" The professor barked and Lily grudgingly sat in her chair, sending waves of hate and rage through her and back towards the two Marauders sitting directly behind her.

Lily was still fuming later in Herbology. The greenhouse was quite humid, to say the least, and Lily had rolled her sleeves up neatly to keep them clean and to try to keep cool. James and Sirius had taken their seats on the work station behind hers, sitting with their backs to her back; Remus and Peter sat across from them, able to see Lily's back from their seats. Sirius' elbow hit his spade, sending it from his bench carelessly to the floor. He reached absent mindedly to pick it up off the ground where it had landed behind him, slightly aware that Lily had her back to him.

"_Ooh_, nice Evans! Black lace, my favorite," Sirius whispered audible only to her and the Marauders. She looked behind at him to see Sirius righting himself.

"Oh!" Lily screeched her face etched with scandal and rage. Before she realized what she was doing, she had reached back and slapped him loud enough to echo through the greenhouse, earning herself a second detention. It was so unlike her. She was head-girl after all and she had never had detention before. Now she was just two classes into the New Year and already those Marauders had gotten her saddled with two detentions. Not to mention she would have to share head-student duties with that James Potter! The year that should have been her shining year had quickly turned into her seventh year from hell.


	2. Detention, Fire Whiskey, and Kisses

**Chapter Two: Detention, Fire Whiskey, and Kisses**

At eight o'clock, Lily trudged down to Professor Slughorn's classroom in the dungeon. She had changed out of her school robes and wore just her uniform. She was the first to arrive, even before the professor, and stood alone against the door frame, her head tilted back and her eyes closed. Her mind wandered to the stacks of homework she should have been working on that evening rather than doing this detention.

"_Evans_," Sirius teased as he ran his finger down the side of her neck, from her chin to her collar bone. Lily shivered involuntarily and jerked away from him.

"_Damn it Black_," Lily swore as she slapped him again. James laughed.

"Serves you right, Padfoot," James said as the professor opened the door and allowed the admission.

"Feisty," Sirius said chuckling as he rubbed the side of his face to ease the sting of her blow.

"Lily," James began but was cut off by Professor Slughorn as he ushered them to hurry into the room. Professor Slughorn had one of his meetings to attend and needed to get the three started on their detention before he left. Lily took her normal place at the very front of the classroom while Sirius and James cruised to the back. From their vantage point and without the normal interference of other students, they had a great view of her back all the way to where her derriere met the stool.

"Nice," Sirius teased a lovelorn James. James grinned and nodded.

"You two might as well budge up," Slughorn called to the boys. "You three will need to work together to prepare the ingredients and the potion that I need."

Lily groaned outwardly as she felt James take the stool to the right of her. She was really wishing that this wouldn't be a group detention activity. It was bad enough that she had detention, but to have to actually interact with two of the most pompous, arrogant boys in school really was just too much.

"The door will not open and it will not unlock to let you three out until the potion is done," Slughorn said addressing the three of them. He looked at Lily with a disapproving look. "To be completely honest, Lily Evans, I am _surprised_ and _disappointed _to see you here in detention."

"So am I," Lily replied nodding. Professor Slughorn clicked the lock once he was outside of the classroom, leaving the three to their own devices. Sirius walked to the door and tapped the lock with his wand.

"Alohamora," Sirius tried shrugging. "I had to try." Lily rolled her eyes and began to go to work on the potion that Professor Slughorn had left for them to do. James watched her for a moment, mesmerized at her skillful knife work on the gurdy roots. The silver dagger glinted in the candelabra fire light. Sirius watched her as well, a little dazed himself, as she grabbed her stool, and headed to the supply closet.

"Be careful," James warned as Lily climbed up on the stool. Lily shot him a scathing look over her shoulder. She knew what she was doing, and didn't need someone like James Potter telling her to be careful. Balancing with one foot on the stool, Lily reached high above her head, missing her mark by two inches.

"Why don't you just summon it?" Sirius offered lazily. "You know, _Accio_ whatever you are trying to get."

"I_ know_ Accio," Lily practically growled. "You can't just _summon_ this bottle. It has to be _retrieved _by the bare hand."

"_It has to be retrieved by the bare hand_," Sirius mimicked only loud enough for James to hear. They both laughed.

"Damn it to hell," Lily swore as she stretched with all her might and failed to reach the item that she was aiming for. James and Sirius both gasped scandalized and amused by her lack of control in her language.

The chair tip slightly as her fingers brushed the small, brown glassed bottle. James jumped up and rushed to her side, fearful that she would fall, as the chair balance precariously on two legs. Instinctively, his hands gripped her hips as she gripped the bottle in her hand. She jumped at his touch, knocking the stool free from her feet and it fell from beneath her. James caught her deftly, wrapping his arms around her.

Indignant, Lily pulled herself free in a swift yanking motion, wrenching her body from his arms. She pulled her shirt straight and threw him the most furious look she could muster. She stalked back to the table where she pulled out her wand and conjured a cauldron over hot blue flames.

Before long, the room was beyond stifling warm and humid, much worse than the greenhouse could ever be on a summer's day. The potion was bubbling merrily. Lily had removed her uniform vest and tie, and again had rolled her sleeves up, this time more haphazardly. She had pulled her sweeping Auburn hair up in a quick tie to keep it out of her face and out of the potion. The room was filling with the most intensely pleasurable smells that James and Sirius had ever smelled.

"I wonder," Lily murmured as she glanced at the potion and then back at its recipe. She slowly, deeply breathed in the aroma of the potion.

"What?" James and Sirius both asked in unison. Lily was pondering over the page, biting her bottom lip in deep concentration.

"Well," Lily murmured again, as if she were half stuck in her own thought processes. "It's interesting, I think. The professor has us brewing him a love potion, a rather potent one at that."

"Interesting," Sirius said rather devilishly. "Perhaps Prongs can get you to take a sip for him."

"Funny, Black," Lily replied sarcastically. Her voice was no longer that quiet thoughtfulness it had been just moments before. "Not bloody likely."

"Jeeze, Evans, that stings," James teased. "I just might cry." Lily glanced at him, her eyebrows raised rather quizzically. She didn't know if he was really joking, or if there was some truth to what he had just stated. She shrugged and went back to cutting and adding to the potion that was beginning to take shape in the cauldron.

"I'm hungry," Sirius complained. Lily looked back at the table behind her where James and Sirius were now lounging about like two lazy bums. She sighed and reached into her knapsack, retrieving two granola bars she had at the bottom. She tossed them onto the table for Sirius and James.

"What's this? Muggle snacks?" James asked. Sirius had already opened his and was curiously sniffing it. Lily made a face that bordered on pity for their stupidity.

"Yes, after all, I am muggle born," Lily explained. She turned back to the potion. "Eat up so you two can help me simultaneously pour and stir the potion. We can't let it curdle; otherwise we will have to start all over again."

James and Sirius lifted the second hot, heavy cauldron over the first that was bubbling while Lily stirred. The more they poured in, the thicker it became, and the thicker it became, the harder it was to stir. James took over after a while when Lily's arms had begun to cramp up. She laid back on the top of the table, exhausted, her legs bent at the knee and dangling off the edge of the cool stone top table. Her sore, tired arms covered her eyes.

"Nice," Sirius whispered to James appreciatively as he took to stirring the potion. James nodded, unable to speak. Her now un-tucked shirt was showing a bit of firm stomach, hinting to her real ability to be naked, even if only in thoughts. Her skirt was lying loosely high on her thighs. He couldn't help but imagine the black, lacy panties that Sirius had spied earlier in Herbology.

"It's so hot in here," Lily complained. She sat up, brushing the loose hair from her face. She jumped off the table and grabbed Sirius's hands as he now stirred the cauldron. "Do it this way, long smooth strokes."

"_Long, smooth strokes_," Sirius said with a wide, evil grin on his face. James laughed.

"What do you mean?" Lily asked curiously unaware. She knew that there had to be something to the way that Sirius repeated her. Sirius signaled for her to come closer, and Lily complied mostly out of curiosity. Sirius whispered into her ear of things that boys usually did alone with themselves that involved just those motions. Lily turned beet red with embarrassment and her mouth fell open.

"_Oh_, I could have gone the rest of my life not knowing that!" Lily exclaimed as she put some distance between herself and them. "I forbid you to think of me in such ways!"

"You can't control me," Sirius challenged as Lily took her turn stirring again. "I can see why Prongs has it bad for you, though. The way that you walk and move, the curve of your…"

"Come on, Padfoot, that's _enough_," James said quietly cutting Sirius off from completing his statement.

"You know, that is really rather rude," Lily said pulling the stirring ladle out of the potion. She pointed it at James and Sirius, as if it were an extension of her. "You really shouldn't leer."

"I don't know what that means," Sirius said as he cocked his head to the side like a confused puppy.

"It means stare," James told him as he grinned at his best friend.

"Well, I am just curious," Sirius explained. "Perhaps, if she showed me _everything_, I wouldn't be so curious." Sirius took a step toward Lily, a grin on his face. Lily raised the spoon at him again, as if she was raising her wand. The door clicked opened and Severus Snape and Professor Slughorn entered the classroom.

"Ah, well done!" Slughorn said as he clapped his hands. "Beautiful potion work, as always Miss Evans."

"Snape," Sirius mocked as he grinned evilly at the greasy hair boy. Snape looked at James and Sirius angrily, but his expression softened as Lily came into view as she gathered her things up, readying to leave detention.

"Lily," Snape said in a voice that was almost a whisper as she handed him the ladle for the potion. She smiled at him warmly.

"Hey, Sev," Lily said. She was biting her lip slightly before she turned to get her bag.

"You three may go now," Slughorn said, dismissing them. He turned to Snape. "We want to get this bottled up while it is still hot."

"Good night!" Lily called as she headed toward the door, her knapsack tossed over her shoulder.

"Oh, ouch," James cried out. Lily kept walking until she heard something in the tone of the voices of Professor Slughorn and Sirius as they said James' name. She turned back to see James on his knees holding his left arm. A deep gash in it spread larger than his hand could cover; Lily's silver dagger was on the table top, blood glistening red in the flickering candle light.

"Oh, sorry!" Lily cried out as she ran back to his side. "It has an antitheft charm on it. Only I can handle it unless I hand it to someone."

"Take him to the hospital wing, quick," Slughorn said. "I would accompany you but I just must get this potion bottled immediately."

"We can manage," Sirius promised as he helped James to his feet. Lily trailed behind a few steps, carrying their bags as Sirius supported James' weight. Blood poured rather freely from James' arm, through his fingers, leaving a trail. He looked ghastly pale and he stumbled in his efforts to walk. He was adamant that Sirius was not going to carry him.

"Quit showing off for Lily," Sirius said. His eyes were full of concern for his friend.

"She won't date me if she thinks_ I_ am weak," James said grinning weakly.

"Damn it," Sirius said as his foot slipped in James' blood. Sirius caught the wall quickly with his hand to steady himself. He glanced back at the blood that James was leaving and felt if they didn't hurry that James would bleed to death before they made it to the hospital wing.

"I am not going to date you," Lily said as she slipped James' other arm around her shoulders, trying to help relieve some of Sirius' burden.

"I guess this is ok, too," James said as he pulled Lily closer. He felt her arm encircle his back and her hand rest on his belted hip.

"Hold your arm tighter," Lily chastised. She was nearly as pale as James was, and she was shaking under his weight and the sight of so much blood.

"_Pompy_?" Sirius called as they entered the hospital wing, a trail of bloody foot prints following them.

"_Sirius_? Oh what brings you to…?" Madame Pomphrey said trailing off at the sight of the three covered in James' blood. "Oh dear! What happened?"

"James cut his arm on my antitheft charmed dagger!" Lily confessed. Her voice was unusually high.

Madame Pomphrey whisked James behind a curtain, out of sight of Lily and Sirius. Knowing the history between James and Lily, Sirius really didn't expect that Lily would remain. He was surprised when she collapsed, shaking, on the nearest chair. He wasn't sure if he should pat her on the shoulder comfortingly or leave her alone. Sirius wasn't keen to being slapped again. Remus and Peter arrived a minute or two to Sirius' delight, Peter grumbling about being roused in the middle of a sublime dream. Madame Pomphrey appeared from behind the curtain.

"Miss Evans, _please_ tell me that you didn't charm a muggle-bought silver dagger," Madame Pomphrey begged. Lily looked up with a remorseful look on her face and nodded.

"I read that pure silver can kill a werewolf so I bought it when I was unable to secure one in the magic world," Lily moaned. Sirius and Remus shifted uncomfortably.

"Oh, _dear_! Oh, _dear_!" Madame Pomphrey muttered as she disappeared behind the curtain.

"You _can_ fix his arm, can't you?" Lily called out nervously, her voice even more unnaturally high, as if she was about to loose control and become hysterical. Remus, Sirius, and Peter looked at her uncomfortably. They weren't used to hysterical girls. The sounds coming from behind the curtain were enough to make anyone sick. Lily was very nearly about to throw up from the smoke and bangs that seemed dominate the air. She was trembling.

"Oh, yeah," James cheered a moment later as Madame Pomphrey opened the curtain and allowed the others join James. "So, Evans is trying to off me?" Lily hung back as the Marauders punched and clapped James on his non-injured shoulder.

"_No_," Lily snapped. She relaxed after a moment and teased him weakly from where she stood, just out of the confines of his sick bed. "Something tells me that they would do more than expel me for offing the head-boy. Since you are going to survive, and if you don't mind, I am off to bed. This really has been too much."

"I'll walk you back," Remus offered after checking on James. "So long as you are not _dying_, Prongs, of course."

"Of course," James replied waving them off with his good arm.

Remus and Lily walked along the dark corridor in silence. Remus heard her stifle a sob and he stopped as they approached the portrait of the Fat Lady. He turned to her, his face filled with concern.

"Lily, what's wrong?" Remus asked.

"He could have _died_ because of my carelessness!" Lily howled. She flung herself against him, into his arms. Remus, not used to people throwing themselves in to his arms froze for a moment, uncertain as to what the common protocol was when the crush of one of your best mates suddenly throws herself into your arms, crying. Lily had always been good to him, always so nice even when she was down right nasty to James or Sirius. He knew that she was distraught about James.

Afraid that she would wake the castle, he pulled free of her grasp and took her by the hand leading her through the closest secret passage way until they came out in the basement of Honeyduke's Cellar. Lily was no longer howling; instead she had been over taken by sniffling and hiccupping. Hurriedly, he pulled her toward the Hogs' Head Inn, Remus pushing her into the first booth they came to once inside. He sat down next to her, blocking her escape.

"Is this where you boys come to when you sneak out of the castle?" Lily asked as the bar keep, Abbers, brought them two smoking goblets of fire whisky.

"One of the places, yes," Remus said quietly, not meeting her eye. "Drink up; it will do you some good." He drank his own quite quickly, used to the heat that it usually contained.

Lily trusted Remus. He was one of the few boys that she had let get close, and he was certainly the only Marauder she'd willing let buy her a drink. She knew she had nothing to fear when she was with him. He was so trustworthy. Lily grabbed her drink and drank it fast; the liquid burned hot going down and brought tears to her eyes.

Her face flushed from the heat of the drink. She very nearly blew flames out of her mouth from the spicy, sweet drink. It made her feel very light headed and drunk very fast. After the drink, Lily became extremely chatty and let her inhibition dissolve like sugar in the rain. After a while, it became quite evident that Lily was quite beyond drunk. Remus decided that he needed make a decision: take Lily back to the castle or rent a room for the two of them at the Hogs Head Inn. Each one had its own pluses and minuses.

"_Remus_," Lily drew his name out in a long, low, sing-song way.

"Are you _drunk_, Lily Evans?" Remus asked her amused by the way she was holding on to him. She was having a hard time walking, and he was having his own difficulties trying to concentrate on getting them back through the passage way with her hanging on to him. As much as he had wanted to take her up the stairs to one of the many rooms available at the Hogs Head Inn, he knew he wouldn't be able to look at himself again in the mirror if he did. There was enough already in his life that had him cringe in the mirror at his own reflection. He didn't need to add to that.

"No," Lily lied as she giggled at the prospects.

"You are a cheap drunk," Remus teased. Lily laughed and kissed Remus, her mouth seeking his in the darkness. Remus could feel his chest expand and contract at the same time in the most pleasurable way imaginable, butterflies taking flight in his stomach. For a brief moment, he kissed her back, giving in to his wanton desires. Remus allowed her hands to find refuge on the top of his shoulders and he buried his hands in her hair and cupped the nape of her neck. Remus really wanted to do to her things he knew he would never forgive himself for in the morning. He let reason and sense flood back into his mind and he turned away from her mouth and exploring tongue.

"What gives?" Lily asked angrily. She was breathing nearly as hard as Remus was, trying to catch her breath. "I want this."

"I can't take advantage of you, Lily," Remus said solemnly. Lily glared at him for a minute or two, leaning up against the wall for support. She began to slide slowly down the wall of the passage way, her eyelids barely open.

"You are _too_ good," Lily mumbled sleepily as Remus picked her up effortlessly in his arms.

"I know," Remus murmured as he inhaled the sweet aroma of Lily Evans and fire whiskey: a deadly combination.

Remus carried her back the rest of the way to the common room. He knew he couldn't take her up to her own dorm room, and didn't fancy on just leaving her there alone in the common room for all to come across her. He couldn't risk her reputation nor have harm come to her by just abandoning her in the common area. Shrugging, he figured James wouldn't need his bed tonight as he was probably staying at the hospital.

Remus took Lily's shoes and socks off, placing them on the floor beside James' bed. Removing her sweater, he tucked her into James's bed and lightly pressed his lips to her own, wanting so much more. Lily murmured something unintelligible but didn't wake. Remus climbed into his own bed but found that sleep eluded him while thoughts of Lily sleeping in the bed next this own swam into the forefront of Remus' mind. After what seemed like hours, Remus finally dozed off.


	3. The First Hogsmeade Weekend

**Chapter Three: The First Hogsmeade Weekend**

"Moony, wake up!" James said shaking his friend's shoulder. Remus sat up; it was just after dawn.

"What?" Remus asked glancing rather nervously at James' bed for a brief second before focusing on his two friends.

"Ah, then, you _do_ know who was sleeping in my bed!" James exclaimed.

"Uh, _well_," Remus stuttered as Sirius appeared beside James.

"So, who was it?" James asked. He walked over to the bed and poked the pillow roughly with his forefinger. He glanced back at Remus rather curiously.

"Well, the thing is, she was _really_ drunk," Remus started quietly. Sirius shot James a look of something that Remus couldn't quite put his finger on.

"Who?" James pressed.

"Lily," Remus offered slowly. He watched James' jovial face go a little stony. "She slept in your bed pure and untouched. _Nothing_ happened." James circled the room a few times, glancing between Remus and his empty but mussed bed. Remus swallowed nervously not afraid of James, more out of concern for his friendship with James.

"I believe you," James said finally. Remus almost let out an audible sigh.

"She must have woke up and realized that she was in a bed that wasn't her own," Sirius said sniffing James' pillow. "The pillow smells like her and fire whiskey."

"_Ooh_, yeah," James laughed as he snatched the pillow from Sirius and inhaled her distinctly sweet aroma from the cottony pillow.

"Ewe, gross," Peter said as he made a face.

At the breakfast table, Sirius, James, Remus, and Peter ate and laughed as they normally did. The conversation did not revert back to discussing how pathetic James was over Lily (which was very pathetic) or how great it was to torment Snape (which, it too, was very great).

Lily walked into the great hall with a few first years that had managed to misplace themselves in the school and had been previously lost. She sat with her dear friends, Alice and Talihina, discussing thing such as the Halloween Ball and other random girl things. The Marauders looked and watched Lily as she slowly spread jam on her toast, listening to one of Alice's long and intense tales of the wonderful Frank Longbottom. As if willed, Lily glanced over at them; smiling, she tucked a stray strand of her auburn hair behind her ear and turned back to listening to Alice.

"Ooh, Prongs, something tells me that you might have finally gotten through to the _ice princess_. You should have cut yourself on her dagger _ages_ ago," Sirius teased. The Marauders laughed nearly insanely at Sirius' jab. Lily got up and strolled down to the part of the table where the Marauders were sitting, who were being louder than anyone else in the entire great hall. She stood there, waiting to be addressed.

"Evans, how can we help you this fine day?" Sirius asked in a mock serious voice.

"I just wanted to come down and thank you, _Remus_, for being such a gentleman last night," Lily said with a hint of embarrassment staining her cheeks. "You could have really taken advantage of me in the situation, while I was in the dreadful state I was in."

"Come sit with us and tell us all about how you ended up so _willing_ in Prongs' bed?" Sirius mocked his fingers touching the hem of her uniform. She stepped away from Sirius, glaring at him.

"That was _James_' bed?" Lily asked. She was now biting her lip, and no less than three Marauders wanted to jump up and help her nibble on the plush pink lips that seemed to cast them each under a spell when she spoke.

"Who did you think had a free bed?" James asked as he shook fuzzy thoughts from his fuzzy brain. She would be the death of him if he didn't watch it.

"I just assumed Remus would give up his bed to me. Sorry James," Lily murmured shrugging. She began to walk away. "Send me a bill, if you'd like," she tossed over her shoulder before disappearing from the great hall. Outside of the great hall, Lily fell back against the strong wooden door, her hands clutched to her chest.

'_Oh my goodness, I just called him James_,' she thought as her heart threatened to beat right out of her chest, '_Twice!_'

"My, my, my Prongs…she called you James," Sirius teased at the table.

"Twice," Remus and Peter cheered in unison. James grinned stupidly. She had. She normally called him Potter, but this time, she had dropped the surname and called him James. Things were looking up for James Potter.

James decided early on that he was not going to rush things and ask Lily out; that would be stupid. Instead, he decided to keep her at a distance and wait patiently for her to come around. He knew he would run into her at the first Hogsmeade weekend. The weather couldn't have been worse, but he still hoped that it would clear up in time.

Remus, Sirius, James, and Peter looked at the darkening, ominous clouds that were covering the ceiling in the great hall. Icy cold rain and wind whipped and pelted the glass window panes causing them to creak and moan like breaking glass. The Marauders were thankful for the map and the passages. The other students would have to brave the elements and would be soaked and chilled to the bone by the time they reached Hogsmeade, but the Marauders would remain very dry.

Most students seemed to flock to Zonko's, Honeyduke's, or the Three Broomsticks for a drink or distraction, but the Marauders preferred a seedier Hogs Head Inn to sit and have a drink. Aberforth Dumbledore, the brother of the headmaster, enjoyed giving his four favorite delinquents whatever their hearts desire, including under-age drinks when they mood so sparked them.

Sirius, James, Peter, and Remus were not without company at this bar. An odd or end person was here or there, but the place was relatively dead compared to its sister counterpart. The four were tucked away in their favorite booth in the back corner where they had a perfect view of the entire bar.

The storm drove in the most unlikely person to the Hogs Head Inn. The four looked up as the bells rattled against the old clap-board door and a very drenched looking Lily Evans walked in, fighting to pull the door closed against the increasing winds. She deftly removed her cloak, water still streaming down her body as if she was still outside. She waved her wand to dry first the cloak, hanging it next to the others, before drying up the puddle she had created with her dripping.

James liked to look at her always, especially when she wore her muggle clothes. She was wearing her (and his) favorite muggle outfit: skin-tight blue jeans and a light pink button up shirt that clung neatly to her body. Wet shirts really gave her figure a glimpse of enhancement and defined her womanly curves.

"_Woo-hoo_," Sirius murmured quietly as he drank. "I wouldn't mind having a go with her."

"Give her Fire Whiskey and she is a little vixen," Aberforth said as he brought his eyes back into focus on the drinks he was about to rest before the boys. She was drawing quite a bit of attention from each bar patron. "Remus here could hardly keep her at bay."

"That, my _dear Moony_, you did not mention," James said with a playfully sour tone to his voice. "While I was up at the hospital near death," James added with a sound of forlorn woe. Remus grinned.

"It was just a few kisses," Remus swore as he tried to pull his face into a serious look. He struggled not to puff out his chest importantly and brag on how great they made him feel.

"You kissed her before James, aren't you mad?" Peter prodded James with his stubby little fingers. James brushed Peter away.

"Nah, Wormy," James laughed as he climbed free of the booth. "I would have done the same. I will be right back."

James walked up to Lily who was standing in front of the mirror by the entrance, drying to dry herself as best as possible with her wand. She glanced nervously at James in the reflection and wondered how he managed to get so dry so quickly, even with a cloak on, in this horrid weather. It was a miracle that she hadn't drowned on her way there to the Hogs Head Inn. He handed her his new drink.

"What's this?" Lily questioned suspiciously as she thought back to the potion that they had brewed together in detention. James must have read something in her expression.

"Fire whiskey, plain ol' fire whisky," James explained. "It'll warm you up better than any charm you can think of."

"No _thanks_," Lily said as she tried to hand it back to him. He refused to reach out for the drink. He refused to relieve her of the drink.

"Sip it, don't gulp it, and you won't get drunk," James informed her. "You'll only get the slightest of buzzes. Come and join us." James took her by the hand and headed towards the table with the other Marauders.

Lily hesitated but James pulled her over to the table, pushing her toward Sirius. He didn't budge, intending to have her climb in over him. He grinned at James as she brushed against his loins as she reluctantly climbed into the booth. These were the things that Sirius lived for.

"I really _shouldn't_. I am meeting someone," Lily said weakly as she began sipping the drink. It _did_ seem to be warming her on the inside.

"Who? Snape?" Sirius snorted. The others laughed but Lily remained quiet.

"Sev and I are really good friends. We were always _close_," Lily defended with an almost quiet defiance. Sirius raised his eyebrows.

"How _close_ of friends are you with Greasy?" Sirius asked sinisterly. Lily didn't look at Sirius. Her eyes were set and trained on the door.

"That is _really_ none of your business," Lily murmured absentmindedly as if she was thinking about it, tracing the rim of her cup with her finger. She allowed a slight smile to cross her face momentarily. She continued to sip her drink, the sips coming quicker and longer.

"You shouldn't be hanging out with him. He's a Slytherin," Peter said much to the agreement of his friends. Lily's head snapped up and she looked at Peter rather annoyed.

"That's _stupid_," Lily said in a sound not much different from a growl. She saw Snape walk in and glare at them. She downed the last half of her drink in one gulp and forced her way out of the booth rather insistently to join Severus Snape at the opposite end of the Hogs Head Inn. She took a seat first in the booth, followed closely by Severus Snape. Lily's laughter could be heard clear across the bar. Her cheeks were flushed and she seemed to be having a difficult time keeping her hands off Snape's arms, neck, and chest.

"_Ooh_," Remus grumbled. "She definitely two sheets to the wind"

"Damn," Sirius swore. "We go and get her drunk and ol' Greasy gets to score. How is _that_ fair?"

"I hate him." James spat as he watched the way she looked at Severus Snape, her eyes wide with lust and wonderment. She bit her lip in that way she did when she wanted something intensely and had every intention of getting it.

"Easy tiger," Remus laughed. "You are starting to sound a lot like Sirius, and we all know we can only handle one Sirius."

Lily tried to stand but erupted into laughter when her legs seemed too weak to hold her properly. She stumbled slightly and Snape deftly caught her in his arms, leading her to the door. She smiled up at him in such a way that the Marauders thought to look that way at Severus Snape was nearly indecent. Severus stopped only long enough to don his cloak and to help Lily into her own cloak. She laughed at whatever wise and witty quip he made and the words '_Shrieking Shack'_ drifted back to the Marauders, the only thing that was of any coherence.

"I am going to follow her," James decided quickly as the two departed the Hogs Head Inn. He pulled out his Cloak of Invisibility and threw it on, disappearing from sight.

"You probably don't want to do that," Remus warned. Sirius swore at Remus and followed James out into the rain. The Marauders couldn't see Lily or Snape, but they knew where they were heading.

"You two are plain crazy," Remus said as he joined them on their walk down the street. Sirius turned into a shaggy-haired black dog, Padfoot. "Pass the cloak this way, James."

James sighed and handed the cloak to Remus. Before a moment had passed, a black dog and a stag with broad antlers were walking hurriedly down the path toward the Shrieking Shack. As the reached the clearing before the barbed wire fence they could hear the sound of two voices elevate in a verbal battle.

"I don't _understand_!" Lily yelled over the damn sound of rain splashing off all the earthen surfaces. She was standing against a tree, her cloak lay forgotten on the boulder. She looked like she was crying; her shirt nearly unbuttoned all the way. Her lips were swollen, their pink deepened from kissing.

"I am a Slytherin, you are a Gryffindor," Snape said in his quiet, monotone way.

"This is about Lucius Malfoy, isn't it?" Lily bit back. She had her arms crossed against her breast as if trying to squeeze herself together.

"No, of course not, it has doesn't have _anything_ to do with Lucius." Snape rebutted as he continued to gaze at her with worry. He looked as if he was torn between running at her full force and taking her against the tree or fleeing to safer ground.

"Then it has to do with _him_, doesn't it? The Dark Lord who hates all that I am?" Lily asked in a quick breath as if she was fighting to get it out. Snape's expression went cold as ice.

"Lily, you _can't_ begin to understand," Snape practically growled.

"Well, explain it Severus. You _used_ to tell me everything," Lily begged. Her arms were dropped from their defensive pose and she held them out to him inviting him. Her shirt really wasn't buttoned well, the Marauders could make out her bra, and she was vulnerable.

"I-I _can't_ Lily," Snape finally said turning his back on her. She bit her lip again, this time biting back tears.

"_So_ that it then?" Lily snapped angrily, finding anger a better emotion to hide behind than love or despair.

"Yes, that's it," Snape said. His voice had returned to the calm quiet in which he usually spoke to her.

"That's _bull shit_," Lily growled at him as she angrily buttoned two of her buttons on her blouse. She snatched her cloak off the boulder and headed toward the village at break neck speed. Padfoot saw Lily's wand leaning against the boulder where her cloak had been cast aside. Sighing, he fetched it like a common mutt and chased after her.

"_Woof_," Padfoot barked startling Lily. She turned to see the dog there with her wand, looking at her expectantly. "_Woof_."

"_Please_ be friendly, _please_ be friendly," Lily murmured to the dog as she cautiously stretched her hand out. "Good doggy, good boy." Lily continued to murmur, hoping that it was a soothing thing for a dog to hear. She took her wand in her hand and hugged it for a moment before shoving it into her back pocket.

"_Woof_," Padfoot said as Lily's finger tips brushed the hair from his eyes and head, quite tentatively.

"Don't bite me, _please_ don't bite me," Lily begged as she was sitting down as the rain began to stop. She was emotionally tired, the fire whiskey and her confrontation with Snape was giving her a spinning, pounding headache. She pulled the wet dog close, needing someone close. She scratched and petted his wet fur, its head rested against her warm and steady heart. "You are a good doggy. I have never had a doggy before, do you want to be my doggy?"

Lily kissed his nose. Padfoot cocked his head quizzically at Lily and she laughed. She gasped as she looked into the woods where a beautiful stag with broad antlers appeared. She tightened her arm around the dog, out of fear and amazement.

"Look at that," Lily purred warmly into the dog's ear. "Have you _ever_ seen something that impressive before? _Hmm…_ What shall I call you? The only dog I know is a human, and you are a much better person that he is… so _much_ better a person than Sirius Black." Remus fought to keep silent, tears of laughter streaming down his face.

"_Lily_," Snape said as he approached, breaking the silence. Padfoot pulled away from Lily and stood between her sitting there on the damp ground and Snape hovering near the edge of the woods. Padfoot was snarling, growling, and baring his teeth at Snape in challenge. "Lily, get _away_ from that dog. He's probably _rabid_. Look at the way he is growling at me."

"I read that dogs are _excellent _judges of characters," Lily quipped waspishly. "Go away, Snape. _You_ made your choice."

"Lily, _please_," Snape said with a whining begging voice. "Your kiss was _unexpected_, that's all." She was standing inches from him, her hands defiantly on her hips. His fingers found the buttons of her shirt and he began to fiddle with them, not unbuttoning them as expected, but refastening them. She slapped his hand away from the buttons at her breasts and began buttoning them herself.

"_Fine_," Lily snapped as both the stag and dog both watch on in morbid curiosity.

"We can talk when you calm down," Snape mumbled. He started down the lane. "I don't mean for you think I was _rejecting_ you."

Snape disappeared out of the clearing. Lily walked a few steps away, looking rather longingly at where Snape had disappeared. She laughed and wiped a tear away.

"So stupid of me to think that _he_ would choose _me_; Blackie, you can be my boyfriend," Lily said matter-of-factly. She snuggled the dog against her body, hugging him, and again kissed him on his wet little nose. Rubbing his fur, she found comfort in the beast's companionship. She held the dog's head in her hand so that he would have to look at her. "You_ almost_ look intelligent."

The rain started to flow again and Lily sighed, ignoring for a moment that she was looking more and more like Moaning Myrtle, half drowned and depressed. The rain soaked through her clothes, her top clinging haphazardly to her breasts. Thoroughly soaked, Lily finally stood up, releasing the dog. Almost absent mindedly, she put her wet cloak on over her wet clothes, chilled to the bone.

"_Why_ do I keep forgetting?" Lily asked no one in particular. She pulled out her wand and pointed it at the dog, which looked rather nervous. She cast an anti-rain spell first on the dog, and then on herself. "I'll bring you some food next time, Blackie."

"_Woof_," Padfoot said as he wagged his tail. He was always hungry and could go for some food. She swooped down for one last hug and one last kiss on his wet nose before taking a few steps away and disappearing to the gates of Hogwarts.

"Do you think she _kissed_ you enough?" James asked tersely as he reverted back into his human form. "At this rate, it looks like I am going to be the only one at Hogwarts that _isn't_ kissing Lily Evans. I should have been the dog."

"What can I say? I am _loveable_," Sirius said shrugging a dazed smile on his face.

"I have to say, you looked like you were rather enjoying yourself," Remus teased. Sirius shrugged again.

"Animal instincts?" Sirius said with a questioning tone in his voice. James ran at Sirius and tackled him, laughing, and the two rolled around a bit in the mud before taking to their feet.


	4. Patrolling With Prongs

**Chapter Four: Patrolling With Prongs**

Freshly showered, Lily dressed in her favorite oxford shirt and skirt. She didn't even glance at Snape or the Marauders as she walked to her spot next to Alice at the Gryffindor table. She was hell-bent on a mission to talk to Alice about her new dog.

"Oh, I found the _cutest_ little doggy," Lily gushed when Alice asked her about her adventures in Hogsmeade. "I also saw this handsome stag in the wood near the Shrieking Shack. I wanted to bring the dog here but I don't think that Dumbledore will allow me to keep a dog in our dorm."

"Why not? He lets those _nosy_ Marauders sleep in a room, when we all know they belong in the Forbidden Forrest," Alice said pointedly at the group of boys that were so blatantly listening in. The boys began to look around rather comically, as they knew that they had been caught but were choosing not to acknowledge it. Lily laughed, as did a few others who had heard Alice's comment.

"After patrol, I am going to find him," Lily said grinning as she readied to eat the bite of food that she had cut. She hadn't even noticed the Marauders. "I hope he doesn't have fleas."

"Well, _at least_ there will be a full moon tonight," Alice contended. "That'll make it easier for you to see." Lily smiled and nodded.

The four Marauders spit their pumpkin juice out at each other in a loud, wet spray, getting laughter all around. They, too, laughed but gave each other worried looks. Tonight was the full moon. How could they forget? How could they have forgotten something so important? Worst of all, Lily would be out near the shrieking shack looking for Sirius-cum-Padfoot.

"You _have _to keep her from looking for the dog," Remus whispered, looking rather peaky. James nodded. They had serious, stern looks on their face.

"I guess we are doing this one without you, James," Peter said rather nervously. James and Sirius nodded.

"See you three in the morning," James said later that afternoon, waving them off. It was dusk, nearly dark, and the three would head to the Shrieking Shack: Peter as a rat, Sirius the dog, and Remus as just Remus. The moon rise would send Remus into his monthly change and sweet, sweet Remus would become a werewolf. James watched as evening turned dark, alone in his room with just his homework.

"Potter, you are late," Lily snapped crossly. She had her arms crossed her breasts, and she was tapping her foot impatiently. "We agreed to meet half an hour ago."

"Sorry, Evans," James replied tersely. He hadn't planned on fall asleep doing homework. He rubbed his head sleepily. They were back to using last names. He could already tell it was going to be one hell of a night. "I got held up, you know, Quidditch," James lied in a quiet mumbling sort of way.

"That explains the smell," Lily groaned as she took a step away from him. James pulled at his robes and smelled. He didn't smell anything. Shrugging, he followed after Lily to do their patrolling. They walked for a while in silence.

"So, _um_, I hear you found a dog," James said after a while. He hated the silence; the only sound was of their feet on the stone floors.

"_Hmm_," Lily murmured as if she wasn't really interested in what he had to say. She glanced behind a tapestry where people tended to try to hide behind. "_Revelio_." Nothing happened. Satisfied she continued up the hall.

"Why do you like Greasy so much?" James asked as he fiddled with his wand, rolling it across the back of his hand.

"His name isn't Greasy," Lily scowled at James. She continued walking.

"You shouldn't defend him," James told her. "He's all wrong for you."

"And what? You are just right for me?" Lily asked hotly, her voice raised and strained against the anger that she was trying to keep in check. They had again stopped.

"At least I am not a Slytherin," James said as his own voice etched up a few octaves. Lily looked like she could have killed him with her very wand.

"_Shh!"_ hissed the nearest paint. The two continued along in silence. Lily was fuming and James could practically feel the heat of anger radiating from her. Lily slipped and half a breath later, so did James. They were laying flat on their backs in a two inch puddle of water.

"_Damn Moaning Myrtle_," Lily swore as she sat up, shaking the water off her hands. James looked at her and laughed hard, tears springing to his eyes. Lily began laughing too, the two of them sitting in water in the middle of the hall. Lily tried to stand but found that her ankle was sprained, causing her great amounts of pain. Her expression went wide with pain.

"I think I should _carry_ you to the hospital wing," James said quietly as Lily remained down on the floor. This would keep her put for a little bit. Lily hated the idea of being carried like a helpless being but unlike when James was cut on her knife, it hurt for Lily even to think of putting weight on that leg. James scooped her up rather effortlessly, not at all surprised to find her a light load to carry.

"This is _mortifying_, just so you know," Lily groaned as James laid her on one of the beds in the hospital wing. The place was dead silent, like much of the castle, at this hour. Lily tilted back on the bed as James peeled the shoes and socks from her feet. One of her ankles was huge, purple, and swollen. With Madame Pomphrey out for the evening, James fetched ice and Madame Pomphrey's sports maladies book.

"You have to elevate it," James said as he read from the book. He snatched two pillows from one of the other beds and placed them carefully under her feet. He wrapped the ice in a towel and placed it on the injured ankle.

He glanced at her to find her studying the ceiling rather intensely, her arm tucked carefully behind her head. The hem of her skirt edged closer to her waist, exposing previously unseen inches of her thighs. James tried to play it cool, swallowing nervously.

"Your skirt," he mumbled as he turned away. When he turned back, she looked unmoved, as if she hadn't even heard him. Her skirt was back in place, stuck by a well cast spell. The only hint that she had heard him was the bright pink cheeks of Lily's embarrassment. Other wise, it was as if nothing was said.

Lily nodded off after a while only to be awaken by Madame Pomphrey's words-

"Has she been bitten?"

Lily shook her head slowly, to clear her mind. She fought it, but lost. She was still very much tired, the hour was late. She couldn't hear James' response and instead felt James' hand on her hand as Madame Pomphrey bandaged her foot. Already it was looking much better.

"Drink this," Madame Pomphrey said anxiously. Lily was half asleep but still managed to do as told and drank the draught, a quick, potent sleeping draught.


	5. The Almost Kiss, Mudblood, Detention

**Chapter Five: The Almost Kiss, Mudblood, and More Detention**

The morning light slowly pulled Lily awake from her dreamless sleep. She yawned and looked down to where the boy with the messy hair had fallen asleep at her bed side. James' face was just inches from her hand. He was out cold and it gave Lily a moment really to examine his face. His hair was always a mess; he had a perpetual case of bed-head hair. He spent a great amount of futile energy raking his hand through his hair in attempts to tame it. He always wore those same glasses, even now; they were askew on his face.

Her eyes lingered on his lips for a while. Perfectly soft looking, she wondered loftily what they might be like to kiss. They were closed together now, not in a tense grimace or a tight snarl, but more like met together in a peaceful union. She wondered if he was a soft kisser or a hard kisser. Remus, she was a bit foggy on how he kissed but she remembered them being intense as if he couldn't get enough of her. He tasted her, devoured her.

Severus' had been very different. He had been restrained, as if he refused to allow himself to enjoy Lily. Perhaps they were a little boring after all these years. Lily remembered they used to have more heat to them, back years before when things were different. Lily blushed at the thought of kissing Remus and Severus, and then blushed harder at the thought that James was probably very good at kissing. Any kiss that James would give was sure to be intense, to say the least. Lily could feel a funny dancing in her stomach, much like expectation and desire. Maybe just one quick kiss-

Lily leaned forward, intending to kiss James' lips. Her eyes momentarily darted to his eyes to find the once closed baby blues were wide open. He had been watching her for a few minutes, while she had been completely unaware. She would have pulled away sooner had she known that he saw her moisten her lips with the tip of her tongue in anticipation, or that she was biting that same lip in anticipation.

"I want to kiss you," James said quietly as he sat up. He raked his hand nervously through his hair, something to diffuse the nervous energy that was building in the pit of his stomach. She pulled away, almost as if she was in slow motion.

"I have to go," Lily muttered climbing out of bed. She ignored the sharp complaint of her ankle and the pain that coursed up her leg. She hobbled away quickly, tossing back to him, "You're going to be late for your match against Ravenclaw if you don't hurry."

Lily went straight to her room, thankful that it was empty. Most of the school would be out at the pitch by now, eagerly awaiting the match. Lily threw herself across her bed carelessly. She closed her eyes against the gold and maroon of her room that strangely reminded her of James, just to have his likeness crop up behind her lids. She closed her eyes even tighter, but she couldn't rid herself of the thoughts of James Potter. She had Potter on the brain.

"No!" Lily shouted angrily to no one in particular. "I can _not_ fall for that pompous jerk!"

James, on the other hand, ran to the pitch to see how his boys faired the night without him there. Remus, Peter, and Sirius didn't look any worse for the wear. They listened as James animatedly told them about the night he had, including how she had slipped on the water, and how they had almost kissed.

"If only I had kept my eyes closed," James chastised himself harshly.

Gryffindor won easily Two-hundred and ninety to thirty points and the Marauders were strutting. While it was not clear which of the Marauders had seen Severus Snape sitting under the tree reading his Defense Against the Dark Arts book, it was James who had disarmed Snape. With a laugh of boisterous cruelty, James suspended Severus Snape up in the air, upside down, by the ankle. Lily had seen the whole thing and ran to Severus' defense.

"Put him _down_!" Lily warned with her wand raised threateningly at James. He looked at her, a little concerned. He didn't want her mad, and he wasn't doing this to piss her off, either. The other's laughed.

"We're just having a little fun with your _boyfriend_," Sirius teased as he slipped his arm around her shoulder. "Isn't that right, Snevellous?"

"Put him down _now_, Potter!" Lily threatened with contempt after she shoved Sirius arm off her shoulder. James began lowering Severus Snape to the ground.

"I am _not_ her _boyfriend_," Snape snapped at them all. He turned his attentions to Lily. "I don't _need_ your help, you _Mudblood_." All of the color disappeared from Lily's face as people around them gasped and gawked. Severus had dared called one of the kindest witches a 'Mudblood'.

"_Fine_," Lily said with such sharpness to her word. She cursed loudly using a string of swears she had not been heard pronouncing before. She swung her head in a circle over her head almost like a lasso, sending everyone with in a ten-foot radius flying back twenty or so feet. Witnessed by no less than four teachers, Lily was escorted to Professor Dumbledore's office.

Lily was late to dinner that evening. She entered the Great Hall and walked quickly past the three other tables to her own house table. Sliding into her seat next to Alice, she didn't say anything. James tried to get Lily's attention. His whispered attempts went ignored by Lily, who was focused on eating her dinner. Alice glanced over at James scornfully, but didn't say anything. The Marauders joined James in his quest to get Lily's attention. They began to fling peas from there seats in her general direction, much to Alice's displeasure. She began fishing peas out of her drink.

"_What?"_ Lily snapped, enraged.

"What punishment did you get?" James asked. It seemed like their section of the table had grown quiet so that they could listen in on Lily's response.

"_Detention_," Lily said crossly. She brushed a few peas free of her hair and sighed rather audibly, "I have a _really_ long sentence."

"Sucks," James said. Lily rolled her eyes at his sympathies. He was the reason that she had gotten all of these detentions in the first place. She pushed her plate away and left the Great Hall, heading back toward her dorm room. She saw Severus and Lucius talking heatedly in the corridor but opted not to even acknowledge either of them. Severus had called her a Mudblood. Their friendship was over.

Lily sat in the common room for a little while watching as the first years were goofing off with their feeble attempts at the little magic that they knew. She glanced out the window, seeing that the hour was upon her. Rising from her chair, she nearly knocked one of the first years down. The little first year looked at her terrified and scuttled off to be with the others, far away from the scary looking seventh year. Lily sighed and wondered if she had been that terrified of seventh years when she was just a first year.

Dressed in her school robes, Lily headed through the portrait hole. She brushed past James without a word, her robes fluttering around her ankles as she disappeared from sight. James shrugged and joined the other Marauders in teasing and taunting the first years. After a while the four became bored of their childish antics and took their seats next to the fire.

"You are thinking about Lily, aren't you?" Sirius asked as James stared into the fire, watching the embers crackle and pop. James nodded.

"Yeah," James admitted a little grumpily.

"At least with all of the detentions she is getting, she hasn't been able to look for or even think of the dog," Remus reasoned. Sirius sighed.

"I miss her kisses on my nose," Sirius said. He looked a little lost and forlorn, like a slighted lover. He rubbed his nose rather roughly, as if trying to remove an invisible smudge.

"Oh, great," James groaned, looking up at the sky. Night was nearing. "I am late for extra potions with Slughorn." James climbed to his feet and took off to the dungeon to find the professor.

Professor Slughorn was not very angry with James, one of his favorite Quidditch players. Instead, he sent James to retrieve some herbs and plants that he needed for potion class from Professor Sprout. James quickly ran from the dungeon to the greenhouses and began looking for Professor Sprout.

Lily stood surveying the area. She couldn't believe that with the threat of the first snow, fat flakes already dropping from the sky, it was so blazing hot in the greenhouse. The windows had fog on them, and the green house resembled some damp, humid marsh. Lily had peeled her clothes down to the practical bare minimum, standing barefoot in a pair of soccer shorts and a thin tank top. Except for that and her underwear, she was nearly naked. The sweat poured down her face and back, her clothes clinging to her body.

"Professor Sprout? Professor Slughorn sent me," James panted as he burst into the greenhouse, an icy cold wind blowing in behind him. Lily shivered. James' eyes sought out and were transfixed on Lily Evans. She was standing over a huge trumpet weed, a spade in her hand as she attempted to extract a violently purple spotted pod from its mist. James wanted to rush over there and crush Lily again the dirt covered floor. He saw her wet her lips and brush the sweat off her brow, barely looking his way.

Lily watched as Professor Sprout loaded James' arms with various things that Slughorn had requested. She refused to focus too much thought or attention that look that James had given her. It had caused her to shiver with excitement, much to her displeasure. She hadn't wanted a look from James Potter to cause her so much as a pause; much less that racing heart beat feeling. She groaned inwardly and went back to her task. Long after James had left, she found her mind wandering back to that look. Each time, her heart would race.

It was well after midnight when Lily was released from her detention. She crept back into the castle, finding it was eerily silent. There wasn't even a hint of Peeves or any of the usual ghosts that seemed to float around freely after dark. Lily was glad that she was alone and headed straight to the prefects bathroom. She was covered in sweat that seemed almost to freeze her as she had headed back to the castle.

Wand out, she flicked the faucets on, the pool sized bath filling with various soaps and scents. Lily smiled. She glanced around to see that she was, indeed, alone. She removed all of her clothes rather quickly, thrilled to leave behind the sweat and dirt stained clothes. She flicked her wand so that they automatically disappeared down the laundry chute. She stood there, naked and filthy, at the edge of the bath before falling back into the water with her arms spread wide. Gracefully, she dove under the soapy water.

James Potter sat frozen to his spot, his eyes blinking disbelieving. He was unable to pull his gaze away from the scene that had played out before him. Mouth hanging open, he nearly called to her before he realized that she couldn't see him. The invisibility cloak had hidden him from her, and in return she had shown him all of herself. He yearned for her, ached for her, ached to kiss every inch of her.

'_I should leave_,' James thought as he watched Lily swim laps in the giant tub. She scooped up a handful of suds and blew them into the air, causing her to laugh merrily. He went to move but found that she had moved first out of the tub, and he was fixed to his spot. She had climbed out of the tub and stepped under the gentle rainfall shower, the suds that once clung to her rinsing clean from her body. He nearly groaned aloud at the sight as his pants seemed to tighten on him.

She stood just arms reach from him, naked. She was so womanly he couldn't stand not touching her. He thought about undressing and removing his cloak to let her know that he had been there the entire time, but he knew that she wouldn't understand. She was sure to scream, and the last thing he needed was for the entire school to file down to the prefect bathroom to see them naked together.

Dried and dressed, Lily left the bathroom, leaving James with the image of Lily's pert breast and womanly form burned permanently on his brain. This was one of those things he was certain he would not be sharing with the Marauders. He waited for a while after Lily left. He didn't want to be caught leaving the bathroom after Lily, certain that no one would understand. He climbed through the portrait hole, waking a rather grumpy Fat Lady, expecting the common room to be deserted. He nearly jumped out of his skin when he saw Lily sitting beside the fire place holding a thick book. James was glad he had stowed the cloak before entering the common room.

"Where have you been?" Lily asked curiously as James took the seat directly across from hers. The warmth from the fireplace was welcomed in contrast to the drafty corridors.

"Patrolling," James lied quickly as heat rose to his cheeks. Lily was silent for a moment, an obvious look of surprise on her face.

"Oh," Lily finally replied. A minute or two passed between them, Lily looking at James and him looking right back. He saw her bite her lip gently and had the urge to help her bruise those tender lips. "Sorry about hexing you earlier. I was just so mad about what Severus said and I lost my head. I am just grateful that Professor Dumbledore didn't take away my head-girl status."

"Me, too," James replied. He was unable to look away from her lips as she spoke to him.

"Um, well, I am tired so I guess I am heading off to bed," Lily said as she stood and stretched. Before she realized what she was doing, her lips brushed his cheek, as if it was something natural and common. Tentatively, she stepped away from him, blushing as she was realizing what she had just done; she had kissed James Potter on her own accord.

"Sorry," James murmured as he backed away from her toward the boys dorms. "Sorry," he repeated as he retreated up the stairs and through his dorm room door.

"What took you so long? It's been hours!" Sirius grumbled with his hand out stretched waiting for James to pass along the cloak. Sirius needed it to sneak into the kitchens. He was hungry again.

"Lily kissed me," James breathed.

"What!?" Sirius exclaimed deciding that the food could wait. Remus was up, and flung himself toward them, eager to hear the details.

"Where?" Remus asked eagerly.

"Just now, downstairs in the common room," James explained. He hesitated, not certain he wanted to tell them everything. His pride billowed in his chest and James spilled all of the details from seeing her in the greenhouse, followed by the showers, and ending with the kiss in the common room.

"What did you say?" Sirius asked sitting on the very edge of his bed in anticipation. He was practically salivating.

"I… I said that I was sorry," James said as he raked his hand through his hair nervously. "Then I rushed right up here."

"Stupid!" Remus and Sirius cried in unison, making James flinch. He had known that his reaction was not a smooth one.

"Even I know that was a mistake," Peter said quietly from his bed. James rolled his eyes.


	6. The Halloween Ball

**A/N: Because this chapter is short (as is the next few, I think) I will post three… Enjoy.**

**Chapter Six: The Halloween Ball**

Lily kept her distance over the next couple of weeks, missing patrols because she was still serving her detention. She was thrilled that her last one was on Halloween night, though she nearly missed the Halloween feast. She hurried to the table, nearly sitting on James as she took a seat at the table. He scooted quickly before she sat down. Thanking him, Lily started to eat at once, starved from all of the manual labor and hard work. She barely got half way through her meal when the tables cleared, leaving her less than satisfied.

She sighed as the Great Hall was prepared and decorated with flicks of wands from the decorating committee for the Halloween Ball. She wasn't starved, but she really wished she could have had more to eat for dinner. Shrugging, she started walking around, watching the love stuck students of Hogwarts having a wonderful Halloween Ball.

"Do you want to dance?" A tiny first year asked Lily. Lily grinned and shook her head, amazed at the cockiness of some of the first years. Lily patrolled the dance floor, keeping an eye out for students who were not maintaining proper proximity. She wasn't surprised to see James goofing off with the Marauders. Sighing, she walked over to them.

"Can I talk to you?" Lily asked. Sirius and Remus shot James the 'thumbs-up' sign.

"Sure," James said coolly as Sirius whistled and cat-called.

"You know, you are supposed to be setting an example," Lily chastised gently.

"I am," James defended with a slight smile on his face. She brushed the stray strands of her hair behind her ear.

"A positive one, James," Lily said sighing. She knew she was fighting a battle he had already won. There was no point.

"Dance with me, Lily," James requested as he took her hand. Lily shook her head and extracted her hand from him.

"I have a job to do," Lily snapped. She stalked away from him and broke up a group of kids that were getting entirely too friendly. Shrugging, James rejoined the Marauders and their high jinks. Lily glanced over at James rather reflexively a few times, but didn't speak to him again about being a proper leader.


	7. To Wash the Black Dog

**A/N: This is my favorite chapter and the basis of the entire story! Enjoy!**

**Chapter Seven: To Wash the Black Dog**

Snow began to fall heavier with each passing day, blanketing the school ground in a sparkling white snow. With the Christmas holiday looming and the bite of the bitter cold air, Lily would have preferred to snuggle up on a chair in the common room with a thick book and maybe some hot cocoa. Lily grumbled as she pulled her scarf around her neck. The third years were itching to leave for the last trip to Hogsmeade before the holiday, which meant Lily, too, would have to brave the cold.

Lily need not go; James should have been able to handle one trip with out her, but Lily really couldn't trust James to keep an eye on the other students. She sighed and figured that she could do what she always did when she was in Hogsmeade, attempt to find Blackie.

She had looked for him on all of her previous visits, and each attempt was met with disappointment. She wasn't in a rush, though, to get out to the cold. She knew she would have all Holiday to look for him. She hadn't planned to go home for Christmas this year. Her sister's husband seemed very unlikely to accept Lily. Alice had offered to host Lily for the Holiday, but Lily hadn't fancied living three weeks in an all magic household, either. It was just a bitter reminder of the life that Lily should have, but didn't have, at home.

Lily was surprised to find herself walking along the path toward the Shrieking Shack. She had walked deep in thought and hadn't been paying attention. She called for the dog futilely. She knew he would never come. He hadn't so far. Lily scooped up some snow and let it crumble in her hand. She was really beginning to despise the cold weather that drove into her bones and longed for spring.

She stood for a few minutes at the barbed wire fence that kept people out of the Shrieking Shack, hands on the top wire as she looked out at the house that had been built toward the back of the property. Lily had the eerie feeling that she was being watched and she looked around.

"Hello?" Lily called out cautiously. "Blackie?"

Lily request was met with the cold silence of the surrounding woods that chilled her into a shiver and she shrugged. She began to climb between the horizontal stripes of rusty barbed wire. The Marauders were there, watching at a distance, the three barely hidden under the cloak. They were signaling to each other, making sure each one understood that they needed to keep her away from the Shrieking Shack at all cost. Rolling his eyes, Sirius ducked out from under the cloak and ran at Lily.

"_Woof? Woof_," barked Padfoot as he ran up to Lily. Lily stopped trying to get in through the fence and instead fell to her knees to embrace the dog.

"Awe, Blackie, I knew I would find you," Lily murmured as she tucked her face into the fur on his neck. Sirius swallowed, not used to someone being that thrilled to see him. He couldn't remember the last time someone embraced him with such tenderness. With James watching so near, Sirius felt uneasy. He whimpered.

"Oh, Blackie, I nearly forgot," Lily said as she released him. She searched around in her bag, fishing out some beef jerky for the dog to enjoy. While he was eating, Lily slipped a collar around his neck and the dog nearly went ballistic as she begun to drag him back towards the school. The dog growled and struggled.

"Hush," Lily said as she tipped her wand toward the black dog. The dog fell silent despite its best efforts to bark. She knew exactly where she was going to take him.

Alone in the prefects bathroom, Lily filled the tub much as she had previously under James' watchful eye. She pulled the dog toward the water, but the dog struggled and refused to go into the tub. The door to the bathroom swung open hard, causing Lily to drop her wand when she was startled. She went to the door, blocking the dog an escape. She shrugged and fastened the lock on the door.

Remus and James huddled under the cloak, still barely hidden. The air in the bathroom had become humid, which a welcomed change compared to the chilly corridor air. They had no idea what Lily had in store for Sirius as the dog and they needed to be there incase things went bad; incase he needed their help. The black dog could hear James and Remus' breathing with his super sensitive ears and was thankful he was not alone in the bathroom with Lily. He feared what Lily had in store for him, and he feared more what he might be tempted to do to her in a bathroom if they were alone.

"_Get_ into the tub," Lily coaxed sweetly to the dog. "You are a _smelly_ dog, Blackie."

Lily gripped the leash and tried to pull him toward the bathroom. He sunk his claws into the stone floor, fighting Lily's efforts. The dog was very strong and he won, sending Lily flying backwards into the soapy bath, fully dressed in her complete winter school wardrobe. James and Remus nearly laughed aloud at the sight.

Sputtering and coughing, Lily climbed on her hands and knees out of the tub. Her clothes weighed her down immensely. She struggled and pulled off her scarf, throwing it into the hamper. She hoisted her heavy coat and robes off her body, eventually extracting all but her panties and her camisole off her body; what was left on her body was practically see through. She could see the dog staring at her quizzically as she threw the last of her clothes into the hamper. She watched him carefully out of the corner of her eye.

"_Gotcha_!" Lily said as she threw herself on top of the dog suddenly. Lily and the dog tumbled into the bath and she restrained him. Humming slightly, holding him against her breasts, she began scrubbing his fur with her hands. She cleaned his legs, paws, and underbelly. He bit her hard in the arm as she brushed what was to him a very sensitive spot. She jerked her arm back releasing him.

"_Damn it_, Lily," Sirius coughed as he climbed from the tub. The black dog was gone. Lily stood in waist high water, her arm bleeding, and a very shocked look on her face.

"You _bit_ me!" Lily cried as she slowly climbed out of the tub.

"You _nearly_ drowned me!" Sirius exclaimed.

"You were the dog, _the whole time_?" Lily asked as she stood there an arm reach away from him.

"Yes," Sirius said handing her a towel. He fought the urge to take in what he could see of her body, which was actually quite a bit in the state she was in, soaking wet with barely anything on her body.

"Do Remus and James know you are a dog?" Lily asked as she stood there, shivering. She held the towel in one hand, her arm bleed down the other. She hadn't moved to hide her body from his prying eyes.

"Yeah, we know," James said as he pulled off his cloak. Lily looked like she had seen a ghost. She pushed the towel to her breast. The reality of her nearly naked body slipped into realization.

"Oh," Lily said blinking stupidly.

"James was the stag in the forest," Remus explained. He looked at the blood that was running from her wound down her hand and dripping into a spreading pool of crimson red from her finger tips. He was concerned that Sirius had bit her pretty hard. She ignored the blood and looked at Remus.

"And _you_?" Lily asked as her voice etched up an octave. Her face was flushed now, embarrassed and feeling rather foolish and vulnerable. "Are _you_ an anamagi, too?"

"No," Remus said quietly as his eyes searched her face, begging for understanding. "I am a werewolf."

"_Oh_," Lily exclaimed stupidly. Her face flushed with embarrassment. She backed away from the three of them slowly, heading toward the door to the bathroom. "I have to go."

"Lily, _please_ don't say anything," Remus begged as he stepped toward her. She backed away, stumbling slightly. Remus, James, and Sirius advanced on Lily, but she had already turned around and fled the prefect bathroom. They chased after her, but all those summers she spent in the muggle world, running from people who would have done her harm or teased her had Lily sprinting like a mad woman, half naked, a good many feet ahead of the boys. Luckily, the school was nearly empty and Lily made it all the way up into her dorm room without encountering another person. She heard someone call her name as she disappeared behind her bedroom door.

Lily dressed in shorts and a shirt and assessed her wound. She didn't really know any healing spells, and she knew she wouldn't be permitted to leave without the Marauders attacking her, so going to the hospital wing was out of the question. She wrapped the towel around her arm, holding firm pressure. The bleeding ceased.


	8. Christmas Eve at Hogwarts

**A/N: Another interesting chapter. Close your eyes kiddies… things get interesting!**

**Chapter Eight: Christmas Eve at Hogwarts **

Lily didn't go out the next day to see off the students that were leaving for their Christmas holiday. She waited until lunch, more than twenty-four hours since the incident with the Marauders, to head down to finally eat something. She was starved as she sat down at the tables in the great hall and dove into the food offered. There were few people in the great hall, and Lily was grateful for that.

"I don't think I have ever seen you tear into food quite so ravenously," a voice said from behind Lily. She audibly groaned as James sat down right next to her. He stole a piece of bread off her plate.

"Why didn't you go home for Christmas?" Lily asked in an almost whining way.

"Don't pretend you aren't thrilled to spend the whole three week long holiday with me," James teased. He leaned into her, lowering his voice as he glared across the hall at Severus Snape. "I told the others that I would stay behind and try to convince you to keep our secrets. You really shouldn't be mad at us. We had no idea you were going to disrobe."

"Do you understand how mortifying it was to find out that I have been kissing all over and pining for Sirius Black? You caught me in the prefects' bathroom with a dog who is really Sirius, Remus, and me with my saturated under garments," Lily whispered heatedly, facing James. Their faces were a few inches apart and James couldn't help but smile.

"You still looked beautiful," James said. Lily brushed her hair behind her ear, her arm brushing against his chest. "Sirius really did need that bath, anyways." Lily laughed lightly, blushing. James took her hand in his under the table.

"James," Lily protested as her eyes opened wide. James squeezed it lightly. He leaned forward, closing the gap between them. Lily touched the tip of her tongue to her lips, wetting them in anticipation.

"Please, keep our secret Lily. Especially Remus' secret," James begged her, his mouth was near her ear as he whispered. She brought his face into view.

"Ok," Lily breathed in a quiet whisper. She looked deep into his eyes, how perfectly they were framed by his glasses. Lily suddenly felt the overwhelming urge to throw herself into his arms and to kiss him. She released his hand and dropped her gaze.

"Ok? You will keep our secret?" James pressed. He looked at her expectantly.

"Yes, James, I will keep the secret," Lily said. He wrapped his arms around her in a hug, casting Severus a smug look when she hugged him back. Severus looked at James with a stony coldness to his expression. He pulled away hurriedly. He glanced back at Lily.

"Sorry, Lily," James said as heat crept into his cheeks. She smiled at warmly.

"Mistletoe," Lily murmured as she looked up at the enchanted mistletoe that seemed to have sprouted above their heads. James looked up as well.

"It wouldn't be lucky not to kiss," James said as his fingers touched her cheek. Lily bit her bottom lip slightly, contemplating the truth. She leaned forward and brushed her lips against his lips, her lips slightly parted.

"How is that for luck?" Lily asked quietly as she let her eyes meet his. His eyes were wide open, surprised.

"I think I might just carry mistletoe around when I know I am going to be around you," James teased gently. Lily laughed as she blushed.

"Just me?" Lily asked amused.

"Only you," James said grinning like a fool. Lily couldn't help but smile.

"James Potter, I just don't know what to say to you about that," Lily said playfully.

"Meet me at the astronomy tower tonight," James said seriously. "Midnight."

"It's Christmas Eve!" Lily exclaimed challengingly.

"I know," James said. He leaned forward and brushed his slightly parted lips across her cheek before climbing up from the table. "Midnight." He tossed back at her before he left her alone at the table. Lily watched him leave, ignoring all the other people in the great hall. Lily Evans had fallen for James Potter.


	9. The Astronomy Tower Rated R

**A/N: Yup. It is that bad. I had to give it a rating. Read on… if you dare.**

**Chapter Nine: The Astronomy Tower (Rated R)**

Dressed in her night gown, kept warm only by a multi-folded shawl, Lily left the Gryffindor common room through the portrait hole and lit her wand. She headed toward the astronomy tower, wondering what she was doing. This was not like her, sneaking out after dark to meet James Potter. She pulled her shawl tighter around her shoulders. Climbing many the many steps, she praised her self for being open to new ideas and chastised her self for being so open to new ideas that involved James Potter. James was waiting at the top of the steps for her. His wand and the Marauders map were tossed to the side.

"I didn't think you would come," James said softly. Lily was shivering and trembling and he stepped toward her slowly, and wrapped his arms around her.

"To be honest, neither did I," Lily murmured. She felt conflicted, the internal struggle between wanting to pull away and wanting to snuggle closer. He smelled enticing, much like the love potion that they brewed in detention.

"I really like you a lot," James murmured with his mouth touching her ear. Lily's heart was racing. Lily let his words caress her mind slowly.

"Not just because I know your secrets?" Lily challenged. She felt James mouth press against her ear in such a way that something deep with in her clenched in anticipation.

"I have liked you much longer than that, Lily," James whispered. His mouth left her ear and found her mouth. He pressed his lips against her yielding lips. Her mouth parted and allowed him entry into her mouth. That earlier clenching was more prominent now, causing her to press against him hungrily. She had never hungered for a kiss or touch quite this intently before.

He pressed his body hard against hers in response; a moan from deep with in erupted from him and joined the one she had allowed to escape as the fell backwards to the floor of the astronomy tower. He pressed against her, unable to get close enough to rid himself of the intense urges that now possessed him.

He had seen her many times in his mind and dreams since the time that he had witnessed her in the bathroom, but his vision paled in comparison to the reality that lay beneath him. She was increasingly more perfect than anything he could have created in his imagination. To actually touch and caress her smooth, flawless skin, to kiss and probe into the deep secrets she possesses, it was all like heaven on earth for him. Lily barely had time to breathe as she allowed James access to her most delicate areas, she tilted her head back in intense pleasure as she and James united, her flesh tingling and burning where his lips, hands, and body touched her.

"You are so perfect," James whispered. He caressed her cheek and kissed her deeply as he moved deeper with in her. James could feel Lily's nails biting into his bare back as he rocked harder against her. She was encouraging him, her nails signaling to him to continue. He watched as her expression went through the full range of emotions as he took her.

He continued his intense kisses long after his spasms stopped. He watched in awe as she slept in his arms, naked. The feminine curve of her breasts was visible under the thin shawl. Their breaths were matched and even, slow and peaceful. He could have watched her sleep in his arms all night. Reluctantly, he knew he had to wake her.

"Lily," James murmured. He touched her cheek, his finger caressing the skin.

"_Hmm?"_ Lily replied moving her mouth to his jaw. He could feel himself recharging for another go. He knew he would do whatever she asked of him, so long as he was allowed to be with her.

"We should head back to the dorms," James said. Lily sighed and climbed to her feet rather reluctantly. She laughed as James intently watched her pull her night gown over her head.

"Now don't go telling your friends that I slept with you," Lily said as the two headed down the stairs toward the Gryffindor common room.

"Let's just hope that they can't read it on my face," James said as he kissed her again. He held her against his chest, his face buried in her hair. "Um, I know that this really isn't the time but did you use any protective spells?"

"I am a master at using non-verbal spells, James," Lily teased as she tilted her head back and sampled his mouth again. James crushed her mouth under his, his tongue snaking in and out of her mouth possessively. "Yes, I took care of it." Lily confirmed.

"Always thinking," James murmured as his lip caressed her neck. "I want you again, now."

Lily took him by the hand and led him up to his dorm room, grateful that the Marauders were away for the holiday. She squealed with laughter as James tossed her up on his bed and covered her with his body. The two spent most nights together in James' bed in the throws of their most unimaginable passion. Every breath was breathed solely for one another.

As the holiday wrapped up, reality began to set in and they began to realize that soon they would have to make a choice. Neither wanted the relationship to stop, but neither was ready to make this public, either. That last night before the school was due to return, they lay alone and naked in James' bed, in each other's arms. They were kissing and caressing like there was no tomorrow, eager to get as close as possible, afraid that this would all end once their friends returned.

"I love you," James murmured as he pressed his mouth to her hot as fire skin.

"So say you in the throws of passion," Lily laughed as she reveled in the intense pleasures that James brought into her. She felt him move deeply in her causing her to make a noise between a gasp and a moan as he took her.

"No, I say it because I do," James defended as he pressed kisses to her heart. He rocked hard against her, eager and intense, to show her how much he needed and loved her. He couldn't help but smiled as she wrapped her legs around his waist and clutched onto his back for dear life. He covered her mouth to stifle the noises that were erupting from her. They both knew that neither wanted to be apart from each other ever. They were in love.


	10. The Marauders Return

**Chapter Ten: The Marauders Return**

"James?" A voice questioned as James lay there deep asleep. James was in the middle of an intensely pleasurable dream where he and Lily were alone in the Shrieking Shack, doing to each other what they liked to do. He didn't want to wake, but he knew the voice outside of his dream couldn't understand. He slowly opened his eyes to find Sirius, Remus, and Peter standing by his bedside. The three looked at him curiously.

"Hey, guys, how was your holiday?" James asked as he rose from his bed and pulled on his jeans over his boxer shorts, quickly. The physical body betrayed him and expressed what the dream wanted.

"Not nearly as interesting as yours was," Sirius commented as his fingers traces a few of the deep, fresh scratches on James' back. James laughed and pulled a shirt on over his head.

"It's nothing," James said casually. He stretched, unable to suppress a grin. "I am starved!"

"Ooh, what has Prongs been up to while the Marauders were away?" Sirius laughed as he pulled the shirt back up. Remus laughed.

"Nothing, really, so stop touching," James laughed. He pulled his shirt back down and pulled on his shoes.

"So, is she going to Remus' secret?" Peter asked quietly. He seemed unimpressed that James managed to get himself mauled by some unknown person.

"Who? Lily? Yeah, she says she will keep our secrets," James mumbled. He glanced at his watch and grinned. "Let's go get some breakfast! I am starved!"

The four headed down the dorm stairs and practically ran Lily over as she exited the portrait hole herself. She pitched forward but James grabbed her arm and kept her from falling face forward onto the landing. He could feel a smile creeping across his face, but he fought it into submission, not wanting to allow the knowledge of her body to be evident on his face.

"Oh, Jeeze," Lily said as she righted herself. Her cheeks were flushed.

"Hey there Evans, any clue who my boy has been shagging up with?" Sirius asked. Lily shrugged with a smirk on her face.

"No clue, dog-boy," Lily quipped. She turned, flipping her hair over her shoulder and headed down to the Great Hall ahead of the Marauders.

"Well, it is about time that you got over that little hell-cat," Sirius whispered to James. James chuckled and watched as Lily disappeared into the hall in front of them.

"Yeah," James agreed. He grinned at Sirius.

As it so happened, Lily and James were sitting next to each other at the table in the Great Hall. Lily was chatting with Alice, who was telling Lily all about the cute wizard that had visited with his family over the holiday.

"JP, pass the juice and quit hogging the jam," Lily said. James passed both to her quickly. Neither could look at each other longer than a moment without delirious grins spreading across their faces, heat increasing between them every breath they took. Lily felt like her heart was entirely too big to fit behind her breast bone and it was still expanding.

"Fine," James said as he placed his hand on her knee and squeezed. Lily blushed but fought the urge to squirm, instead opting to shove her toast into her mouth. She coughed on a piece that went down the wrong way and Sirius reached behind James and thumped her on the back.

"Thanks Sirius," Lily coughed as she got up from the table. "See you later." Alice nodded and waved, assuming Lily was talking to her. Lily was beaming on the inside, a stupid grin plastered on her face despite her best effort to suppress it.

Lily left the Great Hall, leaving behind Alice and the Marauders, and headed toward class. She barely glanced up at the Marauders as they entered potions class. She couldn't look at James without that stupid smile finding its way on her face. Just the thought of him had her smiling. It was really rather annoying, but in a great way. The Marauders took their normal seats toward the back of the class room; Lily had already taken her seat at the very front of the classroom.

They were all told to start to recreate the potion that was written on the board, and before long, cauldrons were lit and they were all working with their groups. Sirius leaned toward James as the two went to work cutting.

"Hey, Prongs, since you have obviously moved on, do you think you would mind if I tried?" Sirius asked hesitantly as he nodded toward Lily. James looked up at Lily who was standing over her cauldron, looking at it expectantly. He felt himself squirm uncomfortably, not because of Sirius request but because of his desire to run to her side and take her right there in potions class.

"You and Lily?" James asked slowly. He watched as she carefully roller her sleeves up and dipped her ingredients into the potion.

"Yeah, I mean you moved on and she is really pretty and sweet. She is one of the few girls in this school that I have not already dated," Sirius said as he watched her begin stirring her cauldron.

"Oh, ok," James said stupidly as she bent over to pick up something that another student had dropped near her station. Sirius grinned at him, clapping his shoulder hard before heading up to where Lily was working. Sirius sat down next to Lily, stopping only long enough to give James the thumbs-up sign.

"You know, you _should _have told him no," Remus said as James watched as Sirius and Lily chatted. Sirius was obviously trying to be charming and was striking out with Lily, who looked like she was slightly offended and none the less amused.

"What do you mean?" James asked as he looked at Remus.

"I don't know what you have been up to, but I do know that there is no way that you are over Lily Evans. She is not the type of girl you just get over," Remus said wisely as James' glanced back at Lily and Sirius.

Sirius shrugged and walked back to the other Marauders. He had a look of rejection that he was trying to cover up with just playfulness. He sat back down at the table and began attacking their ingredients with frenzy.

"She said that she would have a hard time kissing me knowing that there was a good possibility that I had been licking myself, you know, _there_," Sirius growled. Remus and James laughed.

"She seems to know you so well," James teased. Sirius laughed and nodded, the three laughing fairly hard at the notion.


	11. The Map Tells All

**Chapter Eleven: The Map Tells All**

"Shh," James hushed as he walked. It was late, and he was certain that Remus, Peter, and Sirius were already fast asleep. Still, when the likeliness that they were asleep, he didn't want to be caught doing anything he wasn't ready to get out yet. He held Lily's hand and guided her, his hand invisible under his cloak.

It had been weeks since school had returned from holiday, weeks since they had last been together. While stealing moments here and there was thrilling, he was becoming ever desperate to taste and hold Lily. He needed more from her, and she could feel it too, though neither of them was ready to move their relationship in the open.

"Are you_ sure_ that they aren't going to wake up?" Lily whispered as quietly as possible.

"Who cares if they _do_?" James teased; his own voice was barely louder than a whisper.

"James, _really_," Lily giggled as she fought to keep from being loud. James had slipped his hands under the cloak and touched her rather intimately. She held the cloak in place as she climbed into his bed and he pulled the curtains closed around them tightly. Lily continued to fight to keep quiet as James tickled her as he removed her clothing.

"Shh! If _you_ get any louder _you_ are going to wake everyone in the castle," James said as he lay above her.

"It's _your_ fault," Lily practically moaned as he covered her mouth with his own.

Wide awake, Sirius shot Remus a look. They were both sitting there, watching in awe and inspiration James' bed. They knew what James and the mysterious whispering girl were doing; at least they had a good idea and a pair of fantastic imaginations. A sly grin was on Sirius face as he headed toward the bed, just to stop when Remus beat him there and stood between Sirius and the edge of the curtain.

"_No_, Sirius," Remus mouthed to Sirius. Sirius hesitated before retreating back to his own bed.

"Do you think James will ever introduce us to his girlfriend?" Sirius asked as he sat on the edge of his bed, trying not to picture in his mind what exactly was going on in the bed mere feet from his own, but failing.

"I don't know," Remus said making a face. He had to give it James, only he would have been bold enough to risk having a girl in his bed, and to have the restraint not to be making a whole lot of noise.

"Do you think you two could keep it _down_?" Sirius asked loudly. He was irritated that he wasn't the daring one who had a girl in his bed.

"_Sorry!"_ James laughed. The girl was saying something unheard by Remus or Sirius.

"You don't think it is Lily, do you?" Sirius asked quietly. Remus shrugged.

"_Hmm,"_ Remus thought a moment. "I don't think she is the type that would sneak into the boys' dorm to have sex with James. They don't exactly get along, do they?"

"Nah," Sirius agreed. "You are probably right. Hey Prongs, do you think you'll let me scoop up your seconds?"

"_Umm_, no," James said. They heard her laugh, muffled by a pillow or perhaps James' mouth.

"Go back to _sleep_," she called to them in a whispered that added nothing to their quest of finding out who James Potter had brought into his bed.

"_Selfish_," Sirius teased loudly. He had decided a walk around the castle would clear his head and give him a chance to forget that there was a naked girl with in reach of his own bed. For good measure, he grabbed the map from his bedside. _"I solemnly swear that I am up to no good,"_ Sirius whispered, tapping the Marauders' Map with his wand.

Sirius looked at the map to see where the various teachers were and curiosity (pure, perverted curiosity) had him glance at his own dorm room. There he was in his bed, but nearly out of it. Peter was in his bed, snoozing, and Remus was heading back into his own bed. He froze, wand inches from the parchment, as he looked at James' dot on the parchment. He was there, in his bed, just feet from Sirius' bed. Next to James' dot, but nearly overlapping, was the dot of no one other than Lily Evans.

"I hate to bother you, James," Sirius called out loudly in the dark. The silence was nearly deafening. "But, can I have a word with you?"

"Yes?" James replied tensely.

"Um, is our map ever wrong?" Sirius asked oddly. The room was dead silent; you could have heard a pin drop in the silence that had fallen over the dorm room.

"_No,"_ Remus answered when James failed to answer.

"Damn it," James swore suddenly. He appeared quickly from behind the curtains of his bed. He pulled the curtain tightly closed behind him and stood in front of them, naked, except for his sheet that he clutched tightly below his belly button. "Give me the map, Sirius, now."

"Make _her_ take it from me," Sirius challenged, looking at his best mate rather threateningly. James' muscle clenched in his arm as he held the sheet a bit tighter; he was trying to gain control of the situation.

"What is your problem, man?" James asked as he began feeling a little vulnerable standing there with his chest exposed, naked sans for the sheet. James reached his hand out to Sirius, willing him to give up the map.

"You_ lied_ to us," Sirius spat. "You are like a brother to me and you_ lied_ to me."

"No, I didn't! I just didn't tell you the _truth_," James explained.

"Oh, like there is a difference!" Sirius challenged angrily.

"What is he talking about?" Remus asked James. Sirius moved closer to James threateningly but then backed down.

Sirius looked from Remus to James and then back to Remus before shoving the map into Remus' hand. He brushed hard past James as Remus looked down at the map, trying to figure out what had pissed Sirius off so much. It wasn't like James and Sirius to fight. He saw the dot, _her dot_, on the map in James' bed. Remus looked at James for answers then at Lily as she appeared from behind the curtain, now dressed in her shorts and a shirt.

"I'll go explain since I _made_ _you_ promise not to tell them," Lily said to James as she headed toward Remus. She looked at Remus and kissed his cheek, taking the map from him. "_Please_, Remus, don't be mad at James."

Lily left the dorm, the map in her hand, her bare feet soundless on the stone floor. She glanced around the map, seeing Sirius' dot pacing in the astronomy tower. She couldn't help but smile, amused that the Marauders always seemed to feel the safest in the Astronomy tower. She hurried along, cold despite the melting snow outside. She saw Sirius standing at the window, looking out across the dark school grounds.

"_Sirius?"_ Lily asked quietly as if asking permission to approach. He wouldn't look at her, but she felt as if he had granted her permission to approach him so she stepped forward.

"How long have you and James been together?" Sirius asked quietly, still not looking at her.

"Well, if you mean dating then we really haven't, but if you mean sleeping together, then since the Christmas Holiday," Lily replied honestly. She crossed her arms against the chill in the air, and the chill that Sirius seemed to send out. "I _made_ him promise not to tell you all."

"Why?" Sirius asked.

"I didn't want it getting out," Lily said. Sirius turned and was looking at her with his face in a pained sort of misunderstanding.

"No, I mean why are you sleeping with him?" Sirius tossed at her as he looked back across the grounds. Lily smiled slightly.

"Because I love him," Lily said simply. Sirius rounded on her quickly, startling her.

"You could have _trusted_ us with your secret, Lily," Sirius said hotly. He was standing just inches from her, radiating heat that was normally absent in the air of the Astronomy Tower. "We _trusted you _with our secrets."

"I didn't think I would fall in love with James," Lily defended. She glanced back at the door way. "I know I didn't want to fall in love with him, but it happened. I couldn't help it; I couldn't help myself. I just happened. It was sudden."

"Are you sure you love him?" Sirius asked as he pulled Lily into his arms. He lowered his mouth to Lily's, his tongue touching her lips, sliding past them into her mouth, caressing her tongue with his. Unable to pull away, Lily turned her head away from him.

"I am certain, Sirius," Lily whispered. "I love him."

Lily pulled free of Sirius' reluctant arms and handed him the map. She turned and walked out of the Astronomy Tower, leaving him to his thoughts. She wanted to return to James, but out of fear of what she had done to his friendship, she decided that it would be best to head off to her own dorm room and leave the boys to work it out alone.


	12. JP & LE No More

**Chapter Twelve: JP & LE- No More**

She avoided the Marauders the next morning by leaving for breakfast earlier than she normally would eat. Once finished, she headed to the school grounds, grateful to find that the air was the warmest it had been in a couple of days. New spring grass was growing, and the trees had flowered, as if over night spring had sprung. The air was fresh, crisp, and clean from the melted snow of winter. She could feel her heart expand with all the possibilities that spring would bring them.

"_Evans!"_ A voice shouted across the school grounds. Squinting, Lily placed her hand over her eyes to block the glinting sun. She watched as the four Marauders strutted her way. She bit back a laugh, thinking that they all looked rather pompous walking that way. She picked up a stone and skipped it on the water of the lake as they approached.

"Potter, Black, Remus, Peter," Lily greeted them rather distantly as they stopped just mere feet from Lily. She looked at them over her shoulder.

"Evans," they replied in unison, James remaining silent.

"Lily, can we talk?" James asked. Lily glanced at the Marauders.

"_Privately_, or with the Marauders present?" Lily asked crossly.

"Privately will do, but I don't care," James said. Lily and he walked a few steps away from the Marauders, who had started skipping their own stones across the water. "Lily, look I have been _thinking_…"

"I have been thinking too, James, and this, _you and I_, isn't worth you loosing your friends over," Lily said cutting him off from speaking. "_I_ won't be the one who comes between the Marauders."

"But Lily," James protested. She hugged him and patted his shoulder.

"I was _great_ while it lasted," Lily murmured. She kissed his cheek and abandoned him on the shore of the lake. James wandered back to the Marauders.

"So, all is cool?" Sirius asked. Remus scowled at him.

"She…_she broke up with me_," James said in a state of shock.

"_What?!"_ Remus and Sirius both exclaimed.

"She said that it wasn't worth breaking up the Marauders," James said as he sat down by the tree, unable to walk.

"Didn't you _tell_ her that we aren't mad?" Remus asked. James shook his head.

"I never got a chance," James groaned, burying his head into his arms. Remus and Sirius looked at each other, uncertain as to what they should do. Sirius sat down next to James and put his arm around him.

"We should go tell her," Sirius said. James shook his head, unable to look up at them.

"_No,"_ James said with a suspiciously sounding stuffiness. Sirius looked to Remus, uncertain how to handle James' crying.


	13. The Forgettable Drink

**Chapter Thirteen: The Forgettable Drink**

Lily sat in the library as she tried to read away the pain that was burning in her heart. Fat tear drops dripped onto the ancient pages of the book, leaving warped marks on the pages. She wiped her eyes, knowing that she had done the right thing. She couldn't be the one who broke up the Marauders, just because she was in love with one of them.

"Hello, Lily," a voice droned as Severus Snape sat down across the table from her. "Are you ok?"

"I'm fine," Lily lied. She looked up at him and forced a smile. "Are you certain you should be talking to me? Won't Lucius be mad?"

"Probably, but you were my friend _before_ Lucius," Severus said quietly. He reached across the table and took her hand in his. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not really," Lily said as she forced another smile. "Really, I just want to _forget_ about it all."

"Perhaps, _then_, I should brew you an amnesia potion?" Severus offered half serious. Lily laughed. "I have some down in the dungeon for occasions like this."

"That would be _excellent_," Lily murmured as she stood up from the table. Severus stood also.

"You know, I _could_," Severus said in a lowered voice. He took her hand in his and guided her out of the section of the library where she was hiding out. She bit her lip and nodded.

"You know what, Sev that would be great if you could do that for me. I don't think I can handle having to live with the memories that are plaguing my heart right now," Lily breathed as they headed toward the dungeon and Slughorn's classroom.

"Are you sure you don't want to talk about it, Lily?" Severus asked as they passed Peter in the hallway. Lily felt her heart shatter at the sight of just Peter.

"No, I don't want to talk about it, and I don't want to remember," Lily said sternly, afraid if she even let down the fortress around her heart she would drown in her own tears and self pity.

"Ok, well, the potion will be a quick and painless way to forget, but it is nearly permanent. Once you drink it, there will be no going back," Severus said as he and Lily turned a corner.

Peter was torn between telling James and the other Marauders and keeping it to himself. On the one hand, Lily had nearly destroyed his little group of friends, and he didn't want that. On the other hand, Peter knew that he would be in more trouble if the Marauders found out that Peter could have stopped Lily from erasing the memories of James. Peter ran off to find James.

"James," Peter breathed hard as he grabbed his side. He had run from the castle to the Quidditch pitch where James was moping with Sirius and Remus.

"What?" James practically moaned, as if even speaking hurt him.

"Lily, in the castle… the library… _with Severus_… amnesia potion…" Peter gasped as he tried to catch his breath. James and the other Marauders headed back to the castle as quickly as their legs would take them, Peter trailing behind, exhausted. They had no idea where they could be, checking the library. Sirius pulled out the map and summoned her location.

"_She's in Slughorn's class with Snape!"_ Sirius shouted as they took the hallway down to the dungeon. They raced along the corridor and burst into the class room.

Severus was standing with his back to the door, looking at Lily who was holding an opaque goblet that was smoking a sick-looking blue colored smoke. The rim was against her mouth and it was tilted all the way back as she drained the last of the potion from the cup. James, Sirius, and Remus stood just inside the classroom with a look of horror on their faces.

"_What did you do?"_ James growled as Lily wavered and the cup fell from her hand, clattering loudly on the floor. She wasn't looking at any of them.

"She… she asked me for a potion to forget," Severus said with a hint of fear in his voice. "She told me to give it to her; practically begged me."

"Lily?" James asked as he stepped forward. Lily's knees buckled and she landed hard on them, doubled over as if in pain. James looked to Severus. "What is happening to her?"

"The potion is _working_," Severus said quietly as he watched her intently. Peter skid to a stop when he entered the classroom. He looked at Lily on her knees on the floor, and Severus standing a bit away from her and the Marauders. Lily was shaking slightly, trembling as if she was cold. She tilted her head back, eyes closed as if she was in pain. Severus stepped forward, another cup in his hand.

"What are you giving her?" James demanded.

"Just water," Severus said quietly, holding the cup out to James for inspection.

"Did… did she tell you what she was trying to forget?" James asked coldly. Severus' mouth curled into a malicious smile.

"She didn't have to," Severus said as he tapped his own head with his finger. He pressed the rim of the cup to Lily's mouth and tilted it back, forcing water into her mouth. Lily drank slowly from the cup. Severus glanced over his shoulder at the Marauders. "It's too late, Potter, she doesn't remember _you_."

"Lily," James pleaded as he fell to his knees in front of her. Her eyes fell on him, but there was no light of recognition. He touched her hand, but it seemed like she wasn't even there. She slowly pulled away and climbed to her feet. "How could you do this, Snape? Even for you, this was underhanded."

"Underhanded?" Severus snarled at him as he slipped his arm under hers to support her. "I just did what Lily asked of me. She _begged_ me for a way to forget, and I gave it to her."

"She won't love you," Sirius growled.

"Well, now," Severus said smiling maliciously at him. "Now, she doesn't remember she ever loved any of you."

James remained on the floor for a while after Severus had left supporting Lily, who was weakened from the potion. He was worse off than when Lily had broken up with him. At least back then, she was suffering too. Now, he suffered alone and in silence. Lily didn't even remember him.


	14. The Second unForgettable Drink

**Chapter Fourteen: The Second (un)Forgettable Drink**

James, Sirius, and Remus walked into the Great Hall as Lily was walking out at breakfast. She brushed by them without a word or even a hint of recognition in her eyes. She continued up the stairs and to the dorm room, never once looking back. James looked like he had been sucker punched, as if he was a broken man. James slumped into the seat at the table and went through the motions of eating without really tasting anything.

"She _chose_ to give you up," Sirius reasoned with him. "She obviously was ready to move on; perhaps you should do the same."

"No," James said flatly.

"I hate to say this, but Sirius has a point," Remus agreed. "Lily chose to take the easy way out and drank you away. Perhaps, it _is_ better this way?"

Remus pushed a drink into James' hand, smoking in the same blue smoke that Lily's drink had held. James looked at it slowly. It would be so easy to drink the potion and forget all about Lily Evans and those nights they had spent together. He swirled the drink in his hand and watched as the fluid inside swirled.

"Do you _really_ think that this is the best way?" James asked them as he held the cup full of potion in his hand. James looked beat, as if he had lost the greatest battle in his life. He was so tired of all the thoughts that swam in his head. Remus and Sirius both looked as if they were struggling.

"We want you to be happy," Remus said quietly. "We don't want you to be in pain anymore."

"You are our brother, and we want you to be happy, James," Sirius said. James nodded and held the cup in his hand tighter.

"I want to be happy again too," James agreed. He looked at the fluid. "This really will make it all go away forever?"

"The memories, yes," Remus said as he rolled the top from the cup back and forth on the table.

"_But_?" James asked as he had sensed that there was more.

"Well, whether the memories are there or not, the truth remains the same. You and Lily were once in a relationship," Remus said.

"There is no coming back from this, James," Sirius told him. He looked a little ill. "Once you drink that, you won't remember what happened between you and Lily Evans."

"So, this is it? _This_ is what I have reduced myself to?" James asked rhetorically. "Running away and drinking a potion to be saved from my heart ache?"

James stood and left them at the table in the Great Hall, holding the drink in one hand and the top to the cup in the other. He walked to the Astronomy Tower and looked out across the school grounds. He thought of how he and Lily had been together for the first time on the floor of the Astronomy Tower. He held the drink in his hand. He could picture her looking up at him with amazement and wonderment; he could almost feel her breath on his face, just as the wind blew. His chest ached, as if someone had placed his heart in a vise. He wanted relief; he needed relief. Any more, and he was certain he would die from his broken heart.

"Why, Lily?" He asked aloud. He swirled the cup again, looking deep with in its purplish-blue surface. This potion would take all of that away. He wouldn't remember the way she tasted, the touch of her lips on his, the warmth that surrounded him when he was inside her. It would all disappear from his mind and no longer torment him. He placed the rim of the glass to his mouth and tilted it back.

"Oh, sorry," a voice said interrupting him. James pulled the cup away from his mouth, the potion just touching his lips. James looked up to see Lily standing there, her school robes fluttering in the breeze that was snaking into through the windows of the tower. She went to back away, heading back down the stairs.

"No, _wait_," James called hopefully. She stopped and looked at him quizzically.

"I don't want to interrupt you. You look busy," Lily said quietly. She hesitated before joining him deeper in the Astronomy Tower. She flashed him one of her most dazzling smiles.

"Oh, no problem, really, I was just going to drink this potion," James said as he held out the potion for her inspection. She peered curiously into the cup. She wrinkled her nose, her eyes sparkling with laughter.

"Oh, a potion," Lily said curiously. "What does it do?"

"It is _supposed_ to make me forget," James said pulling the potion back. She looked at him with her eyes wide.

"What would you want to forget? You are the most popular guy in the school," Lily said with quiet surprise, her emerald green eyes wide. James looked at her, surprised she knew that.

"I loved this girl," James said quietly. He watched her face as he spoke; hoping and praying for a light of recognition to enter Lily's eyes. "I know she loved me, too, but she thought that she was coming between my friends and me, so she broke it off. It was too much for her to take, so she took a potion like this one to forget. Now I am the only one who remembers how good it used to be."

"That's terrible," Lily offered sympathetically. She came closer and patted his shoulder. "Love can be too painful to endure, especially when it is not returned. I can see why you would want to forget her."

"The thing is, I don't," James admitted. "It's my friends; they want me to let her go."

"Like she let you go?" Lily asked. She had a sympathetic tone to her voice and a sad, sympathetic smile on her face.

"Yes," James said sadly smiling at her. She didn't remember. There was no way that she would be looking at him in that understanding and sympathetic way if she had known she had been the girl that had succumbed to weakness and needed a way out.

"What happens when the potion wears off?" Lily asked him. He looked at her as if she had grown an extra head.

"What do you mean?" James asked.

"Well, if I am not mistaken, that amnesia potion looks a lot like _Amnesia Temperado_, which means it will wear off," Lily told him matter-of-factly. "Assuming she drank the exact same potion, of course. There are others out there that are a little more permanent. Eventually that potion is going to wear off and you will feel as bad, if not worse, than you do now."

"How long?" James asked suddenly, his heart racing.

"How long would it take to wear off? I don't know. I mean, there are so many factors that go into it," Lily said smiling at him. She patted his shoulder. "Whatever you decide to, I am sure it is for the best."

"If something occurred to her before the potion wore off, would she remember it?" James asked breathlessly. "I mean would she remember it when her memories come back?"

"It is a common misconception that amnesia potions erase memories. You can't erase a memory. It is just clouded, blocked, or suppressed," Lily said as she tucked her hair behind her ear. "When her memories come back, all of her new ones will still be there. Chances are, what she felt before she took the potion is going to be just as strong and just as raw as the day she drank the potion. That is the downside of the potion; you can't heal while you aren't dealing with your emotions."

"Lily, thank you," James said to her quietly. Lily smiled at him.

"No problem, it's what I am here for, to help the head-boy. I guess that is why you and I were both chosen to be the Heads," Lily said grinning. She turned to leave the tower. She turned back and kissed him quickly on the cheek. "Don't give up on love just because love gave up on you."

Then she was gone and James was standing there, alone, in the Astronomy Tower. He looked down into the potion and knew that there was no way in hell he would drink it. He knew that one day Lily would remember what they had and she would need him to be there for her. He stepped to the outer observation area of the tower and closed his eyes, letting her face enter his mind. He tipped the cup and let it pour out, the liquid rushing to the ground, swallowed up by the earth.


	15. The Truth and The Antidote

**Chapter Fifteen: The Truth and The Antidote**

"James?" Sirius yawned as James walked into the dorm room. It was dark out, and very late.

"Yeah, sorry," James said as he sat down on his own bed. He pulled his shoes off and stored them beside his bed. "Patrolling ran late."

"Again?" Sirius asked as he propped himself up on one arm. James took off his shirt and jeans, leaving them on the floor.

"Yeah, sorry," James mumbled. He put his head down on the pillow and fought to suppress a grin. He had been patrolling with Lily again that night, and they had got to talking about things. It wasn't until Lily yawned that they had realized how late it had gotten, and he had kissed her cheek gently in the common room.

"This weekend, do you want to hang out in Hogsmeade?" Sirius asked.

"Sure," James yawned.

"Hey, you are feeling alright, right?" Sirius asked. James laughed.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I?" James said.

"No idea," Sirius said with relief.

They headed down to breakfast that next morning to see Lily chatting with Alice. She looked over at the Marauders and smiled briefly before turning back to Alice. She was talking rapidly, excited about something. James saw Remus glance at Sirius, but said nothing as they sat down near the girls. Lily had a book resting in her lap and had another one pulled out, opened on the table.

"Hello ladies," James said smiling at the two of them.

"James," Alice said. Lily nodded her head at him, still rambling on about something that the Marauders were having a hard time following. Alice spread her hand out across the page, blocking what Lily was pointing at from her own view. "Lily, you have got to slow down just a bit. I have no clue what you are talking about."

"It doesn't matter!" Lily exclaimed. She was just too excited. She turned to James. "It doesn't matter anymore! It is just a solution to _your_ problem, JP!"

"Which problem?" James asked.

"What did you call him?" Sirius asked her slowly. Remus and Sirius shot each other worried looks.

"JP, it's the antidote! It is fairly difficult, and I don't even know if I can do it, but I know Sev can do it if I can't!" Lily said excitedly as she stood up, ignoring them. She snapped the books closed the sound echoing in the Great Hall, despite the din of the room. She started out of the Great Hall, not even turning to look back at them.

"_What was she talking about?"_ Sirius asked rather sternly. Alice shrugged.

"Who knows? She's been going on and on about an antidote for a memory potion. I haven't a clue what she was talking about," Alice said as she speared one of her sausage links. "She's been talking like a mad woman for days, I am just glad that you saved me from having to hear her fret about it."

"Well, we are going to be late for class," James said getting up.

"We'll catch up," Sirius called to him. James nodded and left the Great Hall. Sirius rounded on Remus. "What in the hell is going on?"

"I think James must have told Lily something about an amnesia potion before he took his, and she is trying to help him remember," Remus said wildly. "It is the only thing that makes sense, that or hers is wearing off, I just don't know."

"I know who would know," Sirius said as he glared across the Great Hall at Severus Snape, sitting with Lucius Malfoy and a few other students at the Slytherin table. "You are going to have to wait to ask him, though, because if we don't leave now, we are going to be late for potions," Remus said. Sirius nodded.

"I could always ask him there," Sirius said. Remus nodded and the two headed down to the dungeons and joined the others in Professor Slughorn's class.

Lily was sitting where she normally sat, holding her silver dagger. She had a blank look on her face, she looked a little confused. The dagger had the sap of a Gnarly Turnip on it, glinting crimson in the light that was pouring in through the window. She glanced over at the rain that was streaking down the window panes and then glanced back at the dagger. She looked perplexed and didn't move.

"Something's wrong," Remus whispered to Sirius as he watched Lily. Most of the class was half way through their potion, and Lily was still on step one: cut the Gnarly Turnips.

"_Hmm?"_ Sirius asked as he looked up from his smoking cauldron. He saw her sitting there, her cauldron cold and untouched. She held the silver dagger just above the table.

"Something is wrong with Lily," Remus repeated. "She hasn't done anything since she cut the turnip."

"You don't think that _her_ potion is wearing off, do you?" Sirius asked as he tried to keep his voice low enough that James couldn't hear him. James tilted his head, but didn't act as if he had heard them. He continued to work with Peter on the potion.

Lily rubbed her temple slowly, her eyes shifting slightly out of focus. Slowly, she raised her hand, bringing Professor Slughorn to her side. She talked with him in a whisper, his face turning from jovial to concern. He nodded and handed her a slip of parchment. Lily stood slowly and wiped her dagger on a paper towel before storing it in his sheath. Slipping it in her back into her bag, and pulling the straps of her bag over her shoulder, she headed out the classroom door rubbing her head. Sirius and Remus looked directly at Severus Snape to find his eyes mirroring their worry and concern.

"Professor, is Lily ok?" James asked innocently. Professor Slughorn forced a smile.

"I am sure she is fine, Mr. Potter," he replied. "Back to work, there isn't much time."

Sirius and Remus knew that with James around, they couldn't ask Severus what was going on, but they knew that they needed to get some answers and pretty quick. They slipped out from behind James and sought Severus. He was standing alone in the library.

"Snape, what the hell is going on?" Sirius demanded loudly. The librarian hissed at him to be quiet.

"I don't know," Severus snapped back. "I went to look for her after class but she wasn't in the hospital wing. I don't know if the potion is wearing off or not."

"Well, you can't let it!" Sirius exclaimed.

"Don't you think I know this? The last thing _I _want is for_ her_ to remember how _she_ felt about Potter!" Severus snapped angrily.

"She called him JP at breakfast," Remus said calmly. "And before she left class, she had been standing there, staring at her dagger, the same one that James had cut himself on in the beginning of the year. Gnarly Turnip sap looks a lot like blood."

"I think it must be wearing off," Severus said as he rubbed his temples. "Where the hell is she?"

"I don't know," Sirius said. He thought about the map, but he didn't want to bring it up in front of Severus Snape. Remus and Sirius left Snape alone in the library and dipped into the nearest bathroom. Crammed together in a single stall, they pulled out the map and searched all over to find her little dot among the hundreds of dots that were on the map.

"Where is she?" Remus asked, running his finger along the dots. He couldn't locate a dot labeled Lily Evans anywhere.

"Tonight is the night of the full moon, what a hell of a night for Lily to regain her memory," Sirius said.

"We don't know if that is what is happening," Remus said. He saw her dot, finally, as it was heading very slowly toward the hospital. It seemed to moving so very slow compared to the other dots. "There she is! Let's go!"

Remus tapped the map and stored it in his backpack before the two left the stall and headed towards where Lily was. They could see her, standing alone in the hall way, leaning against the wall. She was paler than any of the ghosts that inhabited the school were pale. Remus came up to her side and she looked at him with a weak smile on her face.

"Hello, Remus," she said quietly. She touched her lips gently as if a hint of a memory had slipped just out of reach. She slid a little further down the wall, her legs no longer wanting to work.

"Hey, there, Lily, is everything ok?" Remus asked cautiously as he slipped his arm under hers, extracting her from the wall. She nodded.

"I am heading to the hospital wing," she said quietly.

"Should we take her to Snape?" Sirius asked. Remus shrugged, uncertain as to what should be done. Remus flicked his wand, sending his patronous to find Snape. They received one back in reply. Sirius slipped his arm behind her and they guided her back down to the dungeon where Snape was now waiting in an empty classroom.

"I should be going to the hospital," Lily managed to say weakly. Snape was standing over a cauldron that was bubbling, that same smoky blue wafting up from it. She began to struggle against Remus and Sirius. _"No!"_

"Please, Lily, this is for the good of all of us," Remus begged. She fought him harder as Severus ladled some of the potion into a cup.

"_No! I don't want to!"_ Lily cried as she struggled weakly to break free of them. She tried to reach for her wand.

"No, Lily," Sirius said taking the wand from her pocket. She jerked hard and thrashed as they brought her closer to Severus.

"_Sev, help me! Please help me,"_ Lily spoke to him.

"I am helping you, Lily," Severus said quietly as he held out the cup.

"_I won't drink it! I won't!"_ Lily screamed at him.

"You are going to have to hold her head," Severus said to Remus and Sirius. Sirius grabbed her face and forced her mouth open.

"_Accio dagger!"_ She screamed as Severus brought the cup potion closer to her mouth. She felt the dagger in her hand as the rim of the cup touched her lips. _"No!"_

"Drink it, damn it!" Severus snapped at her. The potion pooled in her mouth. She pitched forward, violently, the dagger dropping from her hand. She fell forward onto the ground, breaking free from Sirius and Remus' grip. She coughed hard, gagging, her mouth less than an inch from the floor. She stayed doubled over, her hand inches from the dagger.

"Is she ok?" Remus asked. Severus looked worried. He glanced at the potion. It was nearly the same color as the previous potion he had given her.

"I… I don't know," Severus said. "Either she is fine, or she is not."

"Well, that clears a lot up," Sirius said, dropping to her side. He touched her shoulder as she continued to cough violently. He tilted her head back to find her eyes closed tightly, blood was trickling out of her mouth a little bit. He wiped it away with his sleeve.

"Maybe we should take her to the hospital," Sirius said quietly.

"Yeah, maybe we should," Remus agreed.

"Do you realize what will happen to us if we are caught forcing another student to take a potion that was brewed illegally?" Severus asked.

"Do you know what will happen to us if she was accidentally poisoned and died?" Remus demanded as he dipped down to hoist her up. She pushed him away.

"_No_," she said. She coughed a little more and staggered to her own feet. "I am _fine_."

"Lily," Severus said gently. She put her hand up and grabbed the table.

"I am fine, _really_. I must have fallen asleep or _something_," she said slowly. She coughed again and gathered her things. She picked her wand up as if it was the heaviest thing in the world and slowly slid it into her pocket.

"Are you sure you are ok?" Remus asked her. He had positioned himself so that she had to look at him. Her eyes seemed oddly bright and glossy, like she was under a spell or a little drugged.

"I am fine, really. I am going to be late to class, and I still have to change my clothes," Lily said flatly.


	16. The Dagger

**Chapter Sixteen: The Dagger**

She stumbled from the room and headed to the first bathroom she came to. She pulled her robes off over her head, standing in shorts and a tee-shirt in the bathroom. She saw Moaning Myrtle watch her as Lily wrung the robe off, a violet-blue liquid dripping from it. Lily coughed hard, nearly coughing up her lung. She ran the robe under the faucet, rinsing the last of the potion that she had allowed to run out of her mouth and on to her robes.

"I wasn't _born_ yesterday," Lily moaned as she slipped to the floor. She rested the back of her head against the cold, stone basin. She waited until the nausea passed, and with the passing of the nausea came the feeling of an old heart break. Lily felt her hot tears slip from her eyes as her heart contracted. She struggled to her feet as she splashed some cold water on her face.

Lily headed to her dorm long enough to change into fresh clothes. She hoped she looked normal as she headed to the greenhouses. She knew she was late, but hoped Professor Sprout wouldn't give her detention. She couldn't stand any more detentions. Professor Sprout looked at her with concern as Lily slipped into the greenhouse and took a place at the very back, but didn't comment on Lily's tardiness.

Professor Sprout had them start on their assignment and headed straight back to Lily. Lily was already starting when the professor came up and Lily almost expected to get a 'talking to' about being on time to class. Professor Sprout didn't say anything, but concern was etched into her face. Alice mirrored the same look.

Sirius, Remus, Peter, and James all looked at her. It was so unusual for Lily to be late to a class and for her to sit so far back from the teacher's desk. Sirius shot Severus a look, but he was unreadable. Severus' eyes were trained on Lily, search and looking for something in her eyes. She wouldn't look at Severus. Lily glanced up at the Marauders, making eye contact with James for a moment, before shoving her dagger deep into her hand. She looked down at it in shock, the pod that she had been trying to open now drenched in her blood.

"Lily," Professor Sprout said as Lily swayed a second. She looked down at Lily's hand and nearly screamed as she rushed to her side.

"_I… don't… know… what… happened…"_ Lily whispered as her knees buckled. Professor Sprout grabbed her immediately.

"Continue working!" Professor Sprout bellowed at them as she turned Lily toward the door. She glanced down as Lily gripped the handle of the knife. "No, Lily! For God's sake, Lily, _don't pull it out_!"

Lily stood there with the dagger in one hand drenched in her own hot, sticky blood, the other bleeding profusely. Lily was ghastly white. James rushed to her side, scooped her up in his arms, and took off toward the hospital with Professor Sprout on his heels. Lily held the dagger in one hand, just looking at it in shock.


	17. The Sick Bed

**Chapter Seventeen: The Sick Bed**

Lily could hear voices near here, but she was too tired to open her eyes. She just prayed that they were friendly voices and not those of people wishing to harm her. Her body felt like it was on fire, and she knew the last of the amnesia potion was finally leaving her body. She fought the urge to gasp or cry as all of the old emotions washed over her in a wave of new, fresh agony. For a moment she contemplated begging for more potions, something to make her heart stop pounding, anything.

She remained still and fought to listen to the whispered voices that seemed to be getting closer. She shifted under the weight of the blanket, sweat beading on her forehead. She could feel the hospital gown sticking to her, and the pain of the emotion was easily felt in the heat that seemed to be searing her from the inside. She wanted to call out, a cry in the back of her throat, waiting to escape.

"_Shh,"_ she heard someone say and she nearly screamed out from the pain and terror of it. She nearly recognized the person, and her heart clenched hard, a bath of icy water flooded her, followed by the burn of heat.

"_Please,"_ she begged barely louder than a whisper. She couldn't move her arms, she couldn't summon her wand. Her eyes refused to open. She squirmed uncomfortably barely able to move.

"_Shh,"_ someone whispered in her ear. She couldn't place the person, exactly, but a slight whimper escaped her lips. _"It's going to be ok."_

Lily felt a cool, damp cloth touch her forehead, cooling her almost immediately. She relaxed a little, certain that if death was going to come, it was going to come. There was no use struggling. She focused, instead, on making sure she was still breathing. It was a challenge; she had to keep reminding herself to breath. She felt the person touch her cheek, brushing some hair from her face.

"How long is she going to be like this?" She heard someone say. It sounded like Remus, but as if he was a thousand miles away with his head in a bucket.

"Well, it is very lucky that she didn't die on her way here," she heard another someone say, more authoritatively. It must have been Madame Pomphrey. "It is that damn muggle silver, I suppose, but I have never seen a non-werewolf react so badly… must have to do with all the blood she lost. Nicked the main vessels… odd, _really_, for an accident."

"Are we _sure_ it was an accident?" Professor Dumbledore asked. Lily could feel herself smiling on the inside. He was always questioning things, such a brilliant man.

"Yes, _of course_. I watched her do it," James said defensively. Lily could feel herself soaring and her heart contracting all at once. James had made it to her sick bed. "She had looked away from her pod and the knife slipped off of it and into her hand."

"Has she taken anything that would have _altered_ her perspectives?" Professor Dumbledore asked carefully. "A brew or potion?"

"Dear, _no_, I don't _let_ the students sample their creations in my class," Professor Slughorn said immediately.

"She hasn't been by to have _any_ concoction in months," Madame Pomphrey said. "Not even to get her migraine medications."

"Hmm, _curious_," Professor Dumbledore said. He continued to talk but Lily lost her grasp on his words as she slipped under the blanket of unconsciousness. She could no longer feel her body, nor feel James' hand on hers.


	18. The Friends Betrayal

**Chapter Eighteen: The Friends Betrayal**

"I can't believe you call yourselves friends," James whispered harshly. Lily moaned slightly and shifted uncomfortably on the bed. She was terribly hot again. Her gown clung to her and made her feel like she was on fire again.

"We thought that we were doing what was best for you and Lily," Sirius defended.

"You both were hurting," Remus said.

"Lily _chose_ to drink the potion that first time," Alice said quietly. "She _chose_ to forget you."

"You_ made_ us believe you drank it, too," Sirius reminded him.

"So, what? She starts to come out of it and you_ panicked_?" James asked angrily. Lily knew without looking at him that he was glowering at them. She felt him place a damp towel on her forehead, cooling her.

"We thought you had taken it, _too_," Sirius said.

"We wanted to keep things the same," Remus defended. "We_ panicked_."

"We _never_ wanted to hurt her," Severus said quietly. He was a little further from the others. Lily felt anger boiling up in her. He above of all of them should have been looking out for her.

"I don't want to hear it!" James said, his voice rising a bit. "You could have killed her, you idiots. You can't _force_ someone to take an amnesia potion. The drinker has to drink it _willingly_. If you had read your potions book a little better, you would know that. You might as well as poured every poison known to man and wizards alike down her throat. She would have faired better. How long until the new potion wears off? I have to wait longer now, or try to brew the antidote. How could you do this?"

"James, we_ thought _we were doing the right thing," Sirius said. He sounded like he was drifting away from Lily's consciousness. Lily tried to hold on but exhaustion consumed her and she faded back into a dreamless sleep.

Three days she remained unable to wake, just on the brink of consciousness. She feared that she would be trapped forever in this semi-coma state. Sometime she caught snippets of conversations, but she could never hold on for too long. When the fevers would come, she could count on James to be there to cool her with a cloth on her forehead, or wiping her face. As she became more aware of her body, she could feel him holding her hands, and more so when he pressed his lips to her hand or face.

If it wasn't for James, she probably would have preferred to stay in this in-between death and life state forever. She knew she couldn't be hurt while she was out like that, and she couldn't hurt. Lily hated the fevers the most, though, and she struggled with them, as if they were a monster threatening to consume her.


	19. The Awakening

**Chapter Nineteen: The Awakening**

The light poured in from the window, falling across Lily's face warmly. Her eyelids fluttered and slowly she opened them. She blinked and looked around. Her arms felt like that they were made of lead, her left one bandaged, the right one was being held by James. He had his face down on the bed next to her hip; his glasses were on the bedside next to her. Lily thought back to when she had sprained her ankle and tears slipped down her face. If she had known that love would have ever felt like this, she would have stayed far away from it.

Lily slid her hand out of his and climbed weakly from the bed. Her feet touched the floor, her legs momentarily unwilling to hold her. She waited a moment and the feeling of weakness passed. She left the hospital wing silently, dressed in her school clothes, her gown abandoned on the bed. It was early, much earlier than anyone else in the school would have been up.

She headed to the showers and then down to the kitchens to get something to eat. It had been days since she ate, and she was remarkably hungry. The house elves were thrilled to have her in their company and bombarded her with food until she was far too stuffed to eat anymore. They offered to send some up with her, but she told them no and then thanked them. She looked at her watch and realized that classes would start soon. She headed down to the dungeon to wait on Professor Slughorn, certain that she would have a lot of work to make up. He looked a little startled as she walked in the class room.

"Are you sure you are well enough to come back to class?" Professor Slughorn asked. Lily smiled weakly.

"I am sure," she said. She looked at her bandaged hand, holding it up. "I am just a little lame today. Plus, I don't want to get any further behind in my studies."

"_Understandable_," the professor said. "You are my best student; I doubt that you will have a hard time making up any work. If you wish, you can start on this one. It will take a few days."

"What is it?" Lily asked taking the sheet of parchment from him.

"An antidote… for amnesia potion," Professor Slughorn said softly. "_Apparently_ someone has been brewing illegal Amnesia potion. This is an insurance policy"

"That is _terrible_," Lily murmured as she read over the ingredients.

"If any of my students can brew the perfect antidote, it would be you," Professor Slughorn said. Lily smiled warmly at the little walrus-looking man.

Lily set to work, lighting her cauldron near the window. She glanced out the window to see the sun light peeking through darkening rain clouds. She had gathered all of the ingredients and was starting to work on the potion. Lily took her robes off, placing them over a chair as she stood their in her school uniform.

She glanced at the parchment, and grabbed a small blue-glassed bottle of some fouling looking venom. It was funny how some antidote had some pretty poisonous substances in it. She careful doled out three droppers full of the venom. She placed the bottle on the table as the door slammed opened, crashing violently against the stone wall. Lily jumped, startled, and looked up as James stood there, Remus and Sirius behind him. Severus and Peter were behind them.

"What in the _hell_ do you think you are doing?" James shouted at her. Lily's eyes went wide and her mouth parted slightly.

"What are you talking about?" Lily cried out. James looked furious, his clothes and hair more mussed than usual. He was breathing hard, nearly panting.

"I woke up to find you missing! We have been looking for you _everywhere_!" James shouted. He was shaking and he raked his hand through his hair. Lily was trembling at the sheer ferocity of his words and volume.

"_I…"_ Lily stuttered.

"I have been running all over this castle looking for you!" James shouted. "How can you just up and leave without a word or anything?"

"_I…"_ Lily stuttered. She stepped back slightly.

"How can you do that to me, _damn it_?! I was worried about you!" James shouted again.

"_I, uh…"_ Lily said. She wetted her lips nervously. James closed the distance between them in a heartbeat.

"I don't _care_ if you don't remember why I need to do this," James growled. He slipped his arms around her, pulling her hard against him. He buried his hands in her hair and covered her mouth with his, his tongue breaching her lips and tentatively touching hers.

He increased his pressure against her, increased the intensity in his kiss, holding her tightly to him. He held on until he could no longer stand not to take another breath. He pulled away from her slowly, looking into her face, praying for a change in the way she looked at him. Confusion set into her eyes. He felt his heart drop into the pit of his stomach, like a ton of icy cold lead.

"James…" Lily said slowly. She put her fingers to her now bruised lips and turned her back on him. She looked out the window. She could feel the discomfort of the room.

"Lily, you _have _to remember," James practically begged. Sirius, Remus, and Peter joined James in the classroom. Severus hung back at the door, leaning against the frame of the door.

"I am brewing an antidote," Lily began quietly. Her back was still to them. "It is meant to combat the effects of _Amnesia Temperado_. Professor Slughorn really _needs_ me to focus all of my attention on this."

Lily turned back not to James but the potion bubbling in her cauldron. She heard James retreat from his place near her and she could feel tears slipping down her cheeks. She was careful not to let a single one drip into the antidote. She didn't want him to know that she remembered everything.


	20. The Quidditch Pitch

**. Chapter Twenty: The Quidditch Pitch**

She knew that she would have to face James and the knowledge she held in her heart, but she didn't want to face it yet. It was simpler this way, and maybe she wouldn't have to confess it all to him before the school year ended. She stood at the cauldron through the entire potions class and as the class ended, she cast a protective spell over it. She wasn't going to let anyone slip anything in to the potion while she wasn't around. A silvery-grey protective bubble surrounded it. Lily smiled as she stored her wand and headed with the other students to the greenhouse for Herbology.

Lily's bandaged hand had caused Lily some trouble, and she was a little upset that the school had confiscated her dagger. Lily was paired with James to help her in class, though no knife work was needed. They were to de-thorn some juvenile Thorny Harpies. Lily couldn't help but laugh at James as he wrestled with a plant that had no intention on letting James remove its thorns easily. He laughed at her as she held the plant in her arms, struggling.

"Just hold it and I will try and snatch the thorns," James told her. She nodded, amused that he felt the need to actually tell her what was already obvious.

At the end of Herbology, the seventh years had their customary free period, and Lily was grateful for the chance to have a break to run back and check on the potion. She sprinted off toward the castle. James and Sirius watched her curiously.

"Well, that seemed to go well," Sirius said as he watched James pull the last of the thorns out of his arm. James shrugged.

"I wouldn't have to be working so hard to remind her about us if you guys hadn't forced her to drink a second potion. Things were going to change between us, I felt it," James said crossly.

"We said that we were sorry, James," Remus defended.

"It is just going to take some time for me to forgive," James said quietly. He started out of the greenhouse ahead of them and headed to the Quidditch pitch for practice. Remus, Sirius, and Peter joined him, following slowly.

"Are you still coming tonight?" Remus asked quietly as the four changed into their Quidditch robes. James thought about it for a moment.

"I suppose I should," James slowly as he left the changing room and headed out onto the pitch. He mounted his broom and hollered at the other players on the team as he led them around in drills.

During practices, it was not uncommon for other students to come out and watch, or at least sit in the stands. James usually ignored them, not really caring if anyone watched. He would just play and lead as he normally would. Sirius flew to his side, riding level with him.

"I don't want to alarm you, but Lily is in the stands," Sirius said to him. He was gesturing to where she sat, high in the stands, alone. She wasn't watching the pitch, but she was there in the stands, none the less. Instead, she was leaning back, her head tilted back, looking at the sapphire blue sky that was adorned with fluffy white picture clouds. The gentle breeze caught her hair a few times, causing her hair to dance around her shoulders.

"Oh," James drawled softly. He had never quite seen her in such a light, and he was even more drawn to her at that moment.

"I just thought that I would let you know, since I don't think I have even seen her down here during matches," Sirius said. Remus had pulled even with James and Sirius and was now watching Lily.

"She's not really into Quidditch," James admitted with a slight smile on his face.

She was in her uniform, her shirt loosen at the collar rather than buttoned up tight. She seemed to be basking in the warm sunlight that was shining directly on her. Lily shoes and knee socks were on the bench next to her, and she seemed to be enjoying the warmth of the sun and moments of silence that had enveloped her. Alice had started up the stands toward her, calling her name. Lily looked at Alice and had laughed soundlessly at something Alice had said. Lily was listening captivity as Alice spoke while Lily balanced her wand on a single finger distractedly. Her eyes left Alice's face momentarily and looked directly at James.

She glanced back at Alice and nodded. Lily slid her socks onto her feet and slipped her feet back into her shoes, buckling them on the sides. Lily climbed to her feet and laughed at Alice as they headed quickly down the stands. They disappeared from sight and James looked over Remus and Sirius. They shrugged and took to the skies, wanting to get as much practice in before their next class.


	21. Confessions

**Chapter Twenty-One: Confessions**

"I can't believe you kissed her," Alice comment to James as he got ready to do his patrol before joining the Marauders at the Shrieking Shack. She was sitting in the common room, despite the late hour. James had hoped that he would have begun patrolling an hour previous, but he had been held up. He didn't want to have Alice hold him up any longer, but he couldn't just leave. His curiosity rooted him to the common room.

"_What?"_ James asked.

"Lily told me that you kissed her rather heatedly in the potions classroom," Alice said grinning.

"When did she tell you?" James asked.

"On the pitch," Alice said. She laughed. "I can't believe you kissed her when you know she took a potion to forget you. That is asking for heart break."

"Well, I never wanted to end it between us, ever," James told Alice. He sat down on the comfortable chair that Lily frequently. "She broke up with me the day I was going to tell her that I never wanted to be with out her."

"How do you remember that?" Alice asked him watching him with quiet awe.

"What do you mean?" James asked.

"Well, your friends gave you the Amnesia potion, and well, I thought that you took it. You haven't been so spastic around Lily," Alice said. "Sirius and Remus had told me that they gave you the potion at your request. Everyone assumed you had taken it."

"Well, you see, I _was_ going to take. Really, I was! I actually had the rim to my mouth and _she_ interrupted me," James said. "Up until that moment, I wanted to forget that she wanted to forget me."

"Who interrupted you?" Alice asked confused.

"Lily, of course," James said. He raked his hand through his hair. "We started talking and she kind of talked me out of it. I mean she had no idea that it was her I was trying to forget, but she still talked me out of it."

"_Oh,"_ Alice said with her eyes wide.

"I was going wait patiently until her potion wore off and then try to explain everything to her. I was going to make her understand. I need her," James said quietly. He sighed. "But, my friends thought that I had taken the potion, much like you did, and when she started to come out of her own they made her take more. They didn't want things to change, and they didn't want me to hurt."

"James, really, have you told her this?" Alice asked. James looked at her skeptically.

"Her potion hasn't worn off, and the antidote isn't ready yet," James said frustrated. He laughed bitterly. "She would look at me like I was _crazy_."

"But, have you tried?" Alice asked. James shook his head.

"There is no point," James said. He rose to his feet. "I have to go on patrol."

"Think about it," Alice begged as he left the common room.


	22. Lily's First Love

**Chapter Twenty-Two: Lily's First Love**

James walked along the corridors, his shoes making noise on the stone floor. He had so many thoughts running through his head. Absent mindedly, he pulled the map from his pocket and looked around the school. He didn't see anyone's dot out of place. He sought Lily's dot, unable to find it in her dorm. He had taken up to watching it when ever he had a moment, except when it was in the bathroom. He couldn't face the visions of her naked and so close. He continued to look for it and found it down in the dungeon. She was alone, but he could see Severus' dot approaching. James pulled his cloak on and headed down to the dungeon, sliding into the class room behind Severus, undetected.

Lily was sitting cross legged on the table. She had her back to the door, and she wasn't looking at the potion, but instead she was looking at Severus' reflection in the glass of the window. She was slouched over a book that was open in her lap. She didn't look unusual or shocked to see Severus standing there in the class room. Her wand was on the table next to her.

"Severus," Lily murmured, looking at his reflection.

"Lily, _please_ forgive me," Severus said. He rushed to her and pulled her into his arms. James felt his inside flood with icy water as Severus kissed Lily, holding her much in the same way that James had kissed her earlier. Lily turned her head, breaking the kiss. Tears were streaming down her face.

"I can't, Sev, I just can't," Lily protested. "You, _above all_, should know why."

"But Lily," Severus begged.

"No," Lily said. Her tears continued down her face. "I don't love you anymore."

"Lily," Severus whispered as she pulled away. He looked destroyed. If Severus hadn't been kissing James' girl, James might have felt a little bit sorry for him. "I was your first."

"Yes," Lily agreed. She turned away, her hand up to stop him from advancing. "But that was three years ago, Severus. You waited too long, and I have moved on from you. You made your choices."

"Lily, don't do this!" Severus demanded. "You _can't_ choose him over me!"

"I don't have a choice, Severus!" Lily shouted angrily. "_You_ took my choice from me."

"I thought I was _helping_ you," Severus defended.

"_Helping me by having your enemy hold me down while you forced potion down my throat_?" Lily laughed coldly. She couldn't make it him out through her tear-blurred vision. "You are just as _bad_ as they are."

"_No_, Lily, you _couldn't_…"

"Couldn't what? Couldn't possibly remember?" Lily spat angrily. Her hand was clenched hard on her wand. "Maybe next time you try to force someone to drink something, maybe you should make sure that she doesn't spit it out onto her clothing."

"You didn't drink the potion?" Severus asked slowly as he crept closer.

"No, I didn't," Lily confessed angrily. She held her wand up, casting a charm and creating a force field around her. "_Don't come any closer_."

"Lily," Severus begged.

"You chose to believe that I was _inferior_ because I was muggle born," Lily said angrily. "You chose to be with me that summer, but once Malfoy summoned you to join him and the other Death Eaters, you wanted nothing to do with me. You _used_ my body after that, yes, but never did you have any intentions on remaining loyal to me. I want _nothing_ to do with you."

"I love you Lily," Severus defended.

"It's too little, too late," Lily said angrily. "You are marked and your _Lord_ won't take to you having a relationship with a _filthy Mudblood_."

Severus tried to advance but was unable to come any closer to Lily. Her protective charm was a force field that wouldn't allow him to get any closer than she allowed him. He circled her, pacing like a caged animal trying to get to his prey. Lily wouldn't let him near her. She had made up her mind about him and wanted nothing more from Severus Snape.

"Lily, _please_, I will give it all up for you," Severus begged. She laughed coldly, fresh tears streaming down her face.

"You know you can't just _give up_ the Dark Arts, not with the likes of _Lord Voldemort_ running the show," Lily said. She wiped her tears from her face with her wandless hand and trembled. "Trust me, Severus, it is better this way. This is the way that it was meant to be."

Severus turned his back to her and walked out of the classroom. He knew it was true. He would never give up the Dark Arts and he would never give up his loyalty to Lord Voldemort. He loved her, but he knew where his loyalties lay. He was a Death Eater for life. The door slammed behind him and he headed back to the Slytherin common room where Malfoy was waiting with open arms with Crabbe and Goyle.


	23. Realizations

**Chapter Twenty-Three: Realizations**

Lily slumped against the wall, lowering her wand. She covered her face, tears streaming down. James stood frozen to his spot unable to move. She remembered it all, and yet she was pretending not to remember anything. She really didn't want to be with him. The realization flooded over him in an icy wave. He watched as she allowed herself to slide to the floor, burying her head into her arms as she pulled her knees to her chest. She was sobbing, and James almost felt sorry for her. He knew what it was like to love and not be loved back. She was the one, though, who was not returning his love.

"It is so hard to love," Lily cried into her arms. James turned his back on her and left Lily alone in the classroom. He didn't want to see or hear anymore. Lily had loved Snape; she had given her body to him when she was so young out of that love. She had loved James, but chose to give him up.

_I don't have a choice_,' Lily's words echoed in his head. _You took that choice from me_.' James wiped a tear from his own eyes. James headed towards the Shrieking Shack, turning into the stag as he joined the rat, the dog, and the werewolf.


	24. Freedom on the Pitch

**Chapter Twenty-Four: Freedom on the Pitch**

Lily held her breath as Professor Slughorn examined the potion. She forced a smile as he grinned and nodded. The potion was a success, it was perfect. He summoned a tray of flasks that landed neatly on the table top next to the cauldron of potion. Together, the bottled and labeled the potion for future uses. Professor Slughorn handed her one of the glass flasks. He had written her name on the label.

"I have reason to believe that you may have taken some Amnesia potion, my dear, and should you want to remember, you have the means," Professor Slughorn told her. Lily smiled at him genuinely and tried to hand it back to him.

"Professor, if I truly have been placed under a spell of the potion, it surely is for a good reason," Lily said. Professor Slughorn nodded, but insisted.

"Just take it as an insurance policy, should you ever crave the knowledge you may have purged," he told her. Lily slipped it into her bag and headed out the door. She debated where she would go to work on her homework, thinking first of the library. She knew it would be too obvious of a place, and headed straight to the Quidditch pitch. Most of the students would be else where, studying for exams. No one would bother her on the pitch, and she would have the whole place to spread out and do her studying.

Lily was thrilled beyond belief to find it completely deserted. She went to the middle of the stadium, the middle of the field and conjured herself a blanket that she spread out on the ground. She glanced around before she hauled her robes off over her head, soccer shorts, and a tank top on under them. She kicked off her favorite trainers and socks, conjured a soccer ball out of thin air. She tore down the field, the breeze blowing through her hair. She ran and laughed, arms spread if she expected to fly. She was so happy at that moment, the warm sunshine beaming on her skin, the breeze dancing in her hair.

Sighing, she fell back against the cool, soft grass. She tucked her arms behind her head, her wand in her hand. Huge clouds floated by, and Lily's smile broadened as she picked pictures up in the ever changing clouds. She was the happiest she had been in a long time, and though she knew she would have to start studying soon, she was content laying in the grass in her summery clothes and watching the clouds. She closed her eyes for a moment. She tried to picture when she was last this happy.

Unexpectedly, James' face floated into the front of her mind. She kept her eyes closed as she remembered all of the sweet moments that they had shared. Her fondest memory of them together was that first night they had been together, so raw and pure. She felt a smile cross her face as her cheeks flushed. That way he looked at her, unlike any of the others she has been with, was with the greatest respect and awe. Even Severus hadn't gazed upon her body in such a way. Sure, there were always those looks of greed and lust, but James had looked at her with so much more.

Lily opened her eyes slowly and pulled herself to a sitting position. She stretched and climbed to her feet. She headed back to where she had dumped all of her stuff and summoned it to gather itself. She was so focused on her pile of stuff and she hadn't noticed that James had entered the pitch, his broom in his hand. He had stopped when he saw her take off down the field, uncertain. He had watched her from afar as she had run against the wind, spun in the sun, and soaked up the cloudy sky.

He bit back the anger and jealousy that seemed to rise up in his stomach at the look on her face, and the gentle smile that had crossed it, causing her to blush. She had once looked that way when she looked at him, and now, she was looking that way. He was certain that she had now moved on, now that she was smiling like that for someone else. He thought about continuing on into the pitch, but he couldn't stand the thought of talking to her when she was thinking of someone in such a way that made her blush.

Lily looked up suddenly, but only saw the tail end of robes disappear around the corner and out of sight. Shrugging, she pulled on her robes and headed toward the school. She hadn't gotten any studying done and she had patrol that night. Her heart felt like it had skipped a beat. She had patrol with James! Realization flooded over her. She was still very much in love with James Potter.


	25. Sectumsempra

**Chapter Twenty-Five: Sectumsempra **

Lily sat in the Great Hall at dinner, listening politely as Alice went on and on about Frank's latest letter. Lily had a slightly dazed look on her face, and she was only half listening. In her mind, she played out how she would tell James that night that she loved him with all her being and she wanted to try to have another go at it.

_What if he has moved on?'_ The little voice in the back of her head, deep in the recesses of her mind asked.

_What if he hasn't?'_ She retorted mentally. She felt a slight smile spread across her face as she nodded at Alice, figuring it was time for some sort of response. Alice seemed pleased to see Lily nod, as if she was confirming something that Lily needed to agree with. Alice continued on, but her words were lost on Lily. She looked over at the Marauders as they headed her way, almost in slow motion. She felt her heart start pounding in her chest, as if it was trying to escape.

_Oh, my, they are really good looking,'_ Lily thought as heat crept into her cheeks. Her fingers touched her cheek as her eyes met James. The boys were intimidating, their robes flowing behind them as they strutted to the table. James' hair was as wild as every, Sirius was talking to Remus.

Lily looked at him expectantly, but James looked away. He was angry at the moment, the muscles in his jaw clenched. Lily glanced back at Alice and was nodding her head, obviously deep in whatever conversation they were having. James sat down next to Sirius and they began eating. Lily took her fork in her good hand and stirred her peas absentmindedly as she listened to Alice. She glanced at him, but dropped her gaze when she thought he hadn't been looking.

James saw that her left hand was still bandaged, and he watched as she dropped her right hand into her lap, wiping away the perspiration that seemed to have formed. So whoever he was, he made her palms get sweaty. James' jaw was clenched so tight he was getting a headache from it. He watched at Lily tilted her head back and she tried to work a kink out of her neck with her right hand.

"So, I was thinking, this weekend we should all go to Hogsmeade together," Lily blurted out. Alice was looking at her with her mouth gaping out. Lily cheeks flushed more pink.

"Wow, um, that was a little out of the blue," Alice laughed. Lily joined her in the laughing. Lily's hand found James' shoulder.

"What do you say, Marauders?" Lily asked, her hand remaining on James' shoulder. Peter, Remus, and Sirius looked at James, expecting him to answer for them.

"Sorry, I am busy," James said with clenched teeth. Sirius looked at Remus who shrugged. Lily looked a little crestfallen, but she smiled at him anyways.

"Ok, well, if you change your mind, let us know," Lily said as she rose. She squeezed his shoulder.

"See you later, Lily," Alice called as Lily waved back at them, smiling as she left the Great Hall. She was still smiling slightly as she headed toward the library, rounding the corner, and running right into Lucius Malfoy.

"Ah, Evans," Malfoy drawled slowly. He let his eyes travel down the length of her body, as if he could peer through her uniform, and back to her face. Lily raised her eye brows at him and forced a smile.

"Hello, Malfoy," she replied in her overly cheerful voice. Not even Malfoy would bring her down.

"So what does bring the daughter of Muggles to this end of the school?" Malfoy asked her slowly, taking her wrist in his hand and drawing her closer.

"The library, Lucius, now let go," Lily said as the smile slid from her face. She struggled against his grasp. "Let go, Lucius."

"Now, now, Lily," Malfoy said with a none-to-pleasant smile on his face. "I think it is a little discriminating on your part that you have so willingly given yourself to someone like Severus, but never once let me sample those plush lips."

"No, Malfoy," Lily told him as he leaned into her.

"Come on, Lily, you practically begged Severus, and I am twice the man he is," Malfoy teased as he drew her closer.

"Leave me be," Lily said struggling against him as his mouth crossed hers. She jerked her head back and twisted her face away from him as he easily pulled her out of the way of the corridor into an empty classroom.

"Be nice, Lily, and maybe I won't be so eager to toss you aside for a sniff of power," Malfoy taunted. Lily struggled as Malfoy pinned her against the edge of an old desk. Lily could feel Lucius breathe on her neck and his teeth scraped the side of face and chin. Panic boiled up in her as she heard the distinctive sound of a metal zipper.

"Let me go!" Lily screamed at him, wrenching away from him. She pulled her wand on him and screamed, "_Sectumsempra!"_

"How dare you!" Malfoy screamed at her as his arm began to bleed as if she had cut him with a blade. "How dare you use Severus' creation against me? The Dark Lord will hear about this and you will be punished severely."

"Yeah, like he is really going to be thrilled that you were attempting to have relations, no matter how forced, with a Mudblood," Lily spat at him. She turned and ran out of the classroom, straight into the nearest bathroom and she threw up.


	26. The Night Patrol

**A/N: Normally, I would not put a note and just let readers read, but this chapter is a lot darker than previous chapters. I just wanted to forewarn that it may offend or disturb.**

**Chapter Twenty-Six: The Night Patrol **

Lily stood in her dorm room that night, before patrol. She knew that Lucius Malfoy wouldn't be stupid to try anything again, but she couldn't be too prepared in case he decided that he really wanted to finish what he started. Try as she may, she couldn't remove the memory of his mouth on her flesh. She rubbed her arm absentmindedly.

"What is up with you?" Alice asked, looking up at her from the letter that she was penning to Frank.

"What do you mean?" Lily asked startled as she looked at Alice, stopping short of actually looking her in the eye. Lily was distracted as she pulled her hair back into a tie while she was making the effort not to look at Alice splayed across the bed.

"Well, since you left the table, you have been acting strange," Alice said with concern etched in her voice. Lily hesitated, tempted to tell Alice about what had happened between her and Lucius Malfoy. She dropped her eyes to the floor, slightly ashamed.

"I guess I am just a little tired tonight," Lily lied. She was picking invisible lint off the school robes she had pulled on over her uniform.

"Maybe you should skip patrol. James would understand. I could go tell him that you are feeling under the weather tonight," Alice offered. Lily forced a smile and shook her head.

"No, I am fine, and it won't take long for us to sweep the castle," Lily promised. She sighed audibly and headed to the common area to wait for James. He walked in with the Marauders, and Lily barely glanced up at them. She was having a hard time getting that fear of Malfoy out of her heart. She could feel the nausea building up again and she swallowed it down. She refused to let the terror rule her.

"Ready?" James asked as he stood ignored above her. Lily glanced up at him, her eyes failing to meet his.

"Yes," Lily said as she stood to her feet, crossing her arms in front of her. James glanced back at Sirius and Remus, who both shrugged, before he followed her out of the common room. She stood at the portrait hole waiting as he shut it closed behind him.

"Ok, I think the quickest way to get this done is to split up," James said through clenched teeth. He refused to meet her eyes, not that she was trying much herself.

"Split up?" Lily asked as she battled the fear that was creeping up her spine like an icy finger.

"Yeah, you take the whole left side and down, and I will take the right side and up," James said with almost a growl to his voice. Lily bit her lip, forcing the fear at bay.

"Ok, if that is what you want," Lily said with a voice barely louder than a whisper.

"We will meet back here in half an hour," James said. He said no more but headed off to the right, not even looking back at her. Lily fought the urge to call out though she had raised her hand to stop him.

_I don't want to do the dungeons alone,' _Lily thought with fresh fear creeping in her heart.

_Grow up and just get your job done,'_ the voice deep with in her growled at her. Lily headed off to start her patrol relieved that all seemed to be relatively quiet and she began to relax a bit, feeling a bit foolish to think that anything was going to happen to her. Her search of the dungeon area was clear, and there weren't any Slytherin students hanging out in front of the opening to their common room.

Lily felt relief flood over her as she headed towards the classroom, checking to make sure each of the doors were locked tight. She almost felt giddy, glancing at her watch. She had three more rooms to check then she needed to sprint back to the portrait hole and wait for James. Maybe they would talk a while and she could let him know that she was stupid for letting him go.

"Lily?" A voice called from behind her, sending a chill through her. She turned to see Crabbe standing there, looking as ever thuggish.

"What are you doing out after hours?" Lily asked as she turned her back on the door way she was about to check.

"Um, the kitchens," Crabbe said as he walked toward her. Lily froze, her hand inching toward her wand.

"Where is Goyle?" Lily asked. Crabbed blinked at her, as if he didn't understand the question she had asked him.

"What do you mean?" Crabbe asked as he continued in her direction.

"Well, you and Goyle always go every where together," Lily explained. She could feel the tension creeping up her shoulders and her heart had begun to pound loudly in her chest. She could feel the fear consuming her insides.

"I suppose he is with Malfoy," Crabbe said as he pulled even with her in the hall way. He had his wand out, and it was trained on her. Lily glanced away from his face to his wand.

"Crabbe, lower your wand please," Lily said quietly. Crabbe glanced at her and then the wand. He lowered it slightly, enough to make Lily glance away from it.

"Shouldn't you escort me back to my Common Room?" Crabbe asked her. Lily narrowed her eyes at him slightly.

"You are a seventh year student," Lily said distrustfully. "I think I can trust you enough to make it back to your own common area."

"True," Crabbe agreed. He walked past her, to where she was heading. "Where is James Potter tonight?"

"He is patrolling the other side of the school," Lily replied as she watched him check one of the last class room and head inside the room. "Hey, Crabbe, get out of there!"

"Make me!" He called, laughing. Lily sighed and followed him into the classroom.

"Come on, Crabbe, get out of here," Lily said as the door slammed and locked behind her. Lily spun around to see Goyle standing there with Malfoy.

"Lily Evans, daughter of Muggles, wandering so willingly into the Chamber of The Death Eaters," Malfoy drawled slowly. Lily could hear her heart pounding as Malfoy stood there leering at her with a smirk on his pointed face.

"You all should be in your Common Room," Lily said as she tried to take the trepidation out of her voice.

"And what, you are going to make us?" Malfoy laughed coldly. Lily watched him stand between her and the door, her fingers inching toward her wand. Malfoy nodded at Crabbe, who agilely removed her wand from the pocket of her robes.

"Hey," Lily shouted at him.

"You didn't think we would let you have your wand, did you? You are very talented at wandery, but you really aren't all that smart," Malfoy laughed at her. He nodded at Goyle who had left his side and had circled around behind her.

"Where is Severus?" Lily asked him, watching Crabbe and Goyle move just out of her peripheral vision.

"Snape is busy tonight," Malfoy said without humor in his voice.

"If you are having a meeting of the Death Eaters here, why aren't you including him?" Lily asked. She knew she had to keep them talking, she had to stall them.

"Upset Snape isn't here to help you out?" Malfoy taunted. He took a swig from a bottle he was holding. Lily had noticed it for the first time. She had seen a similar bottle in Professor Slughorn's study, nasty potent stuff. Malfoy laughed. "You want some?"

"No, thank you," Lily said as she fought to remain calm. He sneered at her and passed the bottle to Crabbe, who had managed to get rather close to Lily undetected.

"What are you doing?" Lily asked Malfoy. She struggled not to scream as he passed in front of her rather close.

"I am doing what the Dark Lord wants," Malfoy said calmly.

"This isn't like you, Lucius, acting on someone else's authority. I thought that you were the last word in authority," Lily said as she glanced to the window, the doors, the desk, hoping for anything she could use for a weapon. Wandless, she felt vulnerable and helpless.

"The Dark Lord is all authority," Malfoy sneered. "His desires are my desires."

"Lucius, please think about what you are doing. Seventeen is awfully young to give up your soul for someone like Lord Voldemort," Lily pleaded with him as they continued to tighten the ranks around her. Three wizards against one wandless witch was not an advantage.

"You dare speak his name, you filthy Mudblood," Malfoy spat at her angrily, striking her in the face with his hand. She fell to the ground with a cry. She could taste the metallic hue of blood in her mouth and she wiped her mouth with her sleeve, the red lost in the black of her school robes.

Malfoy nodded at Crabbe and Goyle who swept down and jerked her up off the floor, restraining her by her arms. Lily wanted to scream. She opened her mouth to scream, but nothing came out. A slick smile crossed Malfoy's face. He continued to watch her out of the corner of his eye while he fumbled with her wand, placing it on one of the shiny black topped tables.

"No sense in trying to scream, Lily," Malfoy told her slowly. "Like you, I am a master at the non-verbal spells. Take her to the table."

Lily began to struggle against Crabbe and Goyle, but she was not match for their brute strength. She had tears that were streaming down her face, unable to contain them any longer. She felt her heart grow cold as Malfoy appeared, just inches from her face. She struggled to look away, but Malfoy's hands were on her face, making it impossible for her to turn her face left or right. She clenched her eyes shut, willed her mind away from her body.

"Are you going to make this easy on me?" Malfoy asked her with his cruelest drawl possible. Lily shook her head hard as Malfoy grabbed a fist full of her hair. "I wouldn't expect it any other way."


	27. Saved by the Marauders

**Chapter Twenty-Seven: Saved by the Marauders**

James glanced at his watch again, frustrated. She was late. He raked his hand through his hair and paced in front of the portrait. If he waited much longer, he wasn't going to be able to get back into the common room. As it was, the Fat Lady was tapping her foot rather impatiently. She couldn't go visiting in the other painting until James decided whether or not he wanted to come in.

"Where is she?" James growled as he looked at his watch again. She should have met him back here ten minutes ago.

"Perhaps she has already headed inside, like you should," The Fat Lady said rather indulgently.

"Did you see her go inside?" James snapped at her. The woman looked affronted.

"Young man, all day long Gryffindors come and go. I can't be expected to remember each and every student that comes through this door," The Fat Lady said rather affronted.

"It would have been in the past fifteen minutes. How many students could have possibly come through this portrait opening?" James barked at her. She glared at him.

"No one has entered in the past fifteen minutes, and I would rather you watch your tone with me young man," She snapped at him. "Either get in here or don't. You have a minute to decide, or I will make the decision for you."

James paced a moment more. If he had the map with him, he would be able to check it and see where Lily was. As it was, Sirius had the map and was out and about with it. James new it would be a while until Sirius returned, and who knew what time that would be. James growled and headed through the portrait hole, slamming it behind him much to the displeasure of the Fat Lady.

"What's got your knickers in a twist?" Remus asked as James came into the dorm, kicking a book that had been left on the floor.

"Lily wasn't waiting for me at the portrait hole," James said with his jaw clenched. Remus glanced at Peter who was laying across a chair that should have been tucked into the dorm room desk.

"That is unusual," Remus said to James. He checked his watch. Lily was punctual to a fault. A knock echoed through the dorm room and the three looked over at it quizzically. James was the closest so he crossed the room to it and swung it wide open. Alice was standing there, looking rather nervous.

"So, you are back?" Alice confirmed. She glanced around the room, searching for a face she did not see. "Lily still hasn't returned and I am worried about her. She was acting strange before she left on patrol. Oh, I told her not to go!"

"Lily hasn't returned?" James asked. He could feel his heart beginning to pound. "Where could she be?"

"It is so dead out there," Sirius growled as he entered the dorm room. James nearly pounced on him.

"I need the map," James told him. Sirius looked at James confused but pulled the parchment out of his pocket. James snatched it from him and tore down the stairs and out through the portrait hole, just moments before the Fat Lady disappeared from it, making it impassible. _"I solemnly swear I am up to no good."_

He searched the school, finding dots here and there. His eyes darted from dot to dot, looking for Lily's dot. His heart turned to ice and fell into the pit of his stomach. Down near the Slytherin wing of the school, in an empty class room, Lily's dot was stationary as Crabbe, Goyle, and Malfoy's dots were in close proximity. He felt hot tears slip from his eyes. She was late because she was with Malfoy. James pressed his wand to the parchment and began to whisper-

"Mischief Manage…" He trailed off as a tiny speech bubble seemed to erupt from Lily's dot.

"_Help!"_ The bubble read. The map had never done that before.

James' blood ran cold and he tore off down the hall, wand lit despite the complaints of the portraits. He watched and prayed that whatever trouble she had managed to get herself into, he would make it there in time. He willed her to hang on, though he knew he might just be too late. James could feel his legs complaining, but he pressed on, knowing that he was the only one who knew that Lily was in trouble.

"_The door!"_ James gasped as he came to the door. The handle was locked, but his adrenaline was raging and he threw himself against the door. The door crashed opened and James skid to a stop.

"James!" Lily screamed. Her voice had returned. James felt anger, hot and raw, boil up in him at the sight. Lily was being held down by Crabbe and Goyle as their hands pressed deep into the flesh of her arms and thighs, her buttons ripped clear from her shirt. Malfoy stood over her, holding the buckle of his belt as he struggled to keep his pants up.

"What the hell do you think you are doing to my girlfriend, Malfoy?" James growled as Malfoy turned to see what had interrupted his attempts at a flesh-driven union with Lily Evans.

"Potter!" Malfoy shouted. Crabbe and Goyle jumped, startled at James' entrance, and Lily clambered away from them.

"Answer me, Malfoy, what were your intentions with my girlfriend," James demanded as he approached Lucius, his wand raised in a threatening manner.

"Nothing, nothing," Malfoy defended. "I was just trying to scare her a bit."

"It didn't look like you were trying to scare her, Malfoy," James said as his words dripped with anger and hate. "It looked a lot like you were trying to defile her."

"No, no, I was just trying to scare her," Malfoy defended. He backed away as James pointed his wand right at Malfoy. "I swear, I only wanted her to think I was going to hurt her. I was going to stop."

"You _liar_!" Lily screamed as she gripped her wand. She pointed it at Malfoy, anger flashing in her eyes. _"Ava.."_

"No Lily!" James shouted in shock, swinging his wand off Malfoy and towards Lily. Lily felt herself fly back off the table she had been crouching on and felt the cold, solid stone wall stopping her suddenly. Lily slouched to the floor as James turned to Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyle who were fleeing the room. "This isn't over, Slytherins!"

James rushed to Lily's side to find her relatively unharmed. She was struggling to regain composure as she pulled herself to a sitting position. Tears had formed in her eyes and spilled over her cheeks. She had her trained to the floor, her wand resting in her lap. Her shirt was in shreds, no longer concealing her body.

"Why did you stop me?" Lily asked as her fingers ran the length of her wand. She wasn't focused on anything; instead tears were swimming in her eyes and were falling into her lap.

"You are better than an unforgivable curse, Lily," James said as he nudged her chin. He forced a smile, aware that if he had been a moment later, Lily's fate would have been far different from just a scare'.

"How did you know where I was?" Lily asked him, still not looking up at him.

"The map had a speech bubble calling for help," James said as he held the map in his hand. He could see his and Lily's dot next to each other. A speech bubble appeared next to his dot- _I love you'_ and her dot replied- _I love you, too'_. He forced a grin and made her look at him.

"I love you," James said grinning. Lily looked into his eyes, her own wide with surprise.

"You do?" Lily asked. He laughed.

"The map says that you should say- _I love you, too'_, Lily, and the map is never wrong," James teased. She let a smile cross her face.

"I love you, too."


	28. Epilogue

**Epilogue-**

Sirius stood dressed in the best suit that money could buy. He glanced at his watch and then smiled at James reassuringly. He could tell that the man was nervous; it would have been hard as hell not to be. They had only been out of school for a few years, and Sirius had to admit that he never thought that his best mate would have been the first to the alter, even though he was the only one with a serious girlfriend. Sirius glanced at the people sitting in spindly white chairs, surrounded by flowers and ribbons, and leaned toward James.

"Hey, I was thinking," Sirius said softly. "If things don't work out between you and Lily, do you mind if I have a go at your seconds?"

"Ok," James laughed as the music began to cue up. Lily held tight to Remus' arm, smiling nervously as she headed towards James. She couldn't have looked more beautiful in the family tiara, and yet it paled in comparison to Lily's natural beauty. Remus presented her to James, who took her arm in his own.

"I am never going to let you go," James whispered in her ear, his lips brushing her cheek. "I love you, Lily."

"I love you, too, James," Lily whispered. She kissed him back and breathed in his ear. "I know this isn't the best time to tell you this, but I am pregnant."

His face dropped, shocked, and his grin spread across his face so wide it out shone the sun. Lily could feel the heat creep up into her cheeks and the two of them turned to the official that was marrying them. She felt his hand squeeze hers and she knew she had made the right choice. She and James would be together for the rest of their lives.

Fin


End file.
